Thanks guys for your support!
DH and I discussed it, we will NOT be going back and helping them, it's just not going to happen. DH is already in student loan debt, debt they made him get by forcing him to go to university when he just wanted a trade, but they wanted him to become a doctor. Debt they promised to pay off for him if he returned back home in 2005, by 2006 when he asked when they will start helping him with it they said "We pay you $100 a week, pay them with that"
Anyways when it comes to talking to evil people, you don't know when you've been hit with a poison dart until much later when it finds its way to your blood. While she was poormouthing she stated the reasons why she had no money...
1)She paid for DH's ticket to see DGM on her deathbed (Actually FIL did, a 1 way ticket when MIL found out she threw a fit and didn't want to go, they were supposed to go together, but she refused and FIL stayed behind too, missing seeing his mom before she died. MIL and FIL went to the funeral and took SIL paying her round trip, SIL won't speak to them because they didn't buy a ticket for SIL's BF so it "wasn't fair" (I didn't go! plus the family HATES her bf plus it was a funeral not a shopping trip, which was the only reason she went anyway) ) But buying the 1 way ticket for DH $300 killed her financially. Her paying for SIL AND her BF to go to the family reunion (in the same city) round-trip, hotels and meals didn't hurt her financially, while not giving a single penny to DH, Same with the wedding...but in the end the 1 way ticket broke her bank.
2) Each child of DGM (FIL's DM) had to pay $3500 for DGM's funeral expenses, that made MIL go ballistic. Now she forks over THOUSANDS on her lazy ass relatives in China, who are ungrateful and only want more (SIL took after her side of the family) I know they spent atleast $20,000 on MIL's dad and $10,000 on MIL's sister in 2006, we were there so we know. DGM and DGF did so much for MIL, if it weren't for them she wouldn't have been able to come to Canada, she lived with them and they treated her well, but she was always horrible to them. DGM was the sweetest kindest lady ever and the other DIL's and sonILs agree, DGF and DGM never asked for anything from MIL and FIL. But THAT is what made MIL "poor". Not giving money to her ungrateful relatives. No wonder she made FIL cry. She won't have to worry though, I have NO PROBLEM with paying money for her funeral, infact I look forward to it! Flowers, wreaths whatever as long as she's stone cold in the box! Okay Im really bitter now.
I wonder why it takes so long for that to hit me? it's like you don't know what hit you until much later.
Argh Im so mad. She is a vicious vicious lady, and Karma is doing a good job at getting her.
In DH's culture it is customary for the eldest son to care for his parents, but it's also customary for them to take care of their son, help him financially until he is a man, treat him well because even in Confucian times, although filial piety is important, so is the rectification of names, so if parents don't behave the way good parents should, they are not really parents by name, so even back then if Parents were bad to their son he had a right to refuse to take care of them in old age, so in Chinese culture parents were good and even spoiled their son because they feared what would happen in old age. Daughters married into other families, so they traditionally didn't do as much for them as the sons.