My PIL's keep trying to play "happy family" and are trying to get DH & I to join them and his brother/wife & kids on their annual summer vacation. My husband & I have had conflicts over the years w/his brother & wife (it's really the wife). GSIL/GBIL have told PIL's about our past conflicts from "their" perspective of course. We stupidly took the high road & never said anything to PIL's about them. We were hoping this would demonstrate to PIL's that we are the ones w/integrity and that it's GSIL/GBIL who are causing all the problems. Nope. PIL's seem very gullible and seem to believe everything GSIL/GBIL say. Also, b/c GSIL/GBIL give PIL's free airfare, free hotel stays, free tickets to events, etc. I guess they feel they owe them the favoritism. After our boundaries were crossed one too many times, DH & I finally got tired of it & we cleared the air. We told PIL's point blank about the conflicts with GSIL/GBIL from OUR perspective and we also drew a firm line in the sand concerning our boundaries. This was in the hopes of getting to a place where these boundaries would be viewed in the spirit of "good fences make good neighbors." That was two years ago. Ever since then, the drama has been kept at bay and nobody dares start the usual crap they used to with us. These days, their drama is much more watered down and in some cases, more sneaky.
Every summer, PIL's go on a beach vacation with GSIL/GBIL. PIL's are now trying to get DH & I to go the same week!!! God, NOOOOOO!!!! Why can't they just get it through their heads that we don't have that kind of relationship with GSIL/GBIL????? We can deal w/them once or twice a year but that's it. I'm not about to go on a fucking vacation w/them!!! I wanted to ask PIL's, "Ok, really? What the hell have you been smokin??" Why the hell do PIL's do this???? Live and let live and leave us alone! If we want to make vacation plans w/them, we'd have done it years ago! UGHHHH, here we go with the non-stop questions about why don't we want to go. In case they forgot about it, I don't want to reopen a can of worms and RE-explain the tension that exists between GSIL/GBIL and my husband & I. If we do, PIL's will surely tell GSIL/GBIL what we said and it will start World War III all over again. So we'll probably just give them an excuse. What a f'g pain in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost want to remind PIL's that when they were our age, THEY never spent their vacations with their in-laws. So why do they push us to???
I don't know how I'm going to handle the inevitable questions when the PIL's come up north this summer. They're going to stay with us for a few days before going with GSIL/GBIL on their beach vacation. So anything we say will probably be talked about at the beach cottage. I'm sure PIL's will ask us if we ever plan to join them on these beach vacations. I need to get a game plan together with my DH and prepare a response that won't start a new war. Any thoughts out there on how we can handle this diplomatically?