I Hate My Inlaws!

Welcome to I Hate My InLaws!

In-laws, and the quarrels they start, have been the subject of stories for many years. This is your opportunity to sound off about your own in-laws! Tell the world the story, or stories, of your in-laws. We're looking for the funny ones, the sad ones, the crazy ones, and every story in-between.

So what are you waiting for? Tell us why you HATE YOUR IN-LAWS!!! and read why others hate their in-laws.

If you would like others to reply with advice regarding your in-law situation or if you would like to give advice to those requesting it, please visit our In-Laws Forums.

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Fake bitch.

Posted on Mon, Jan. 25, 2016 at 04:42 am

Oh wow, you can't contact me directly to ask how my family is doing, but you can post a prayer for my family publicly on your Facebook, and you emailed my spouse with your fake concerns about my family.

Funny how you blabbed about being 'worried' for my family's safety to everyone else, EXCEPT directly to me or my family.

F'ck your attention whoring ass, you fake narcissistic bitch!!!

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Dont try me

Posted on Sun, Jan. 24, 2016 at 11:40 am

So when DH & I got married we decided on a "No Alcohol" rule for our household. We do not look down on anyone who drinks but for our own personal, religious beliefs and the fact we both came from alcoholic families we decided this is how we would begin our married lives. MIL, who we believe is a closet alcoholic, was not happy and of course took it as a personal insult just like she too the color of paint I used in my kitchen as a personal insult. ANYWAY...

On our first anniversary, poor DH got pneumonia. He was pretty bad off. So my MIL and her exMIL (I have posted tales about this user before) , who was in town at the time, wanted to come over. Sure no problem...until I was INFORMED they would be bringing a special tonic for DH. I tried to politely remind her that we have a no alcohol rule in our home. After going off on a tirade about how stupid we were and how its ok because its for medicinal purposes and she was bringing it over. I explained in a calm manner that if she did I would pour it out on the ground in front of her. So she tried the , "Well you wouldn't dare do that and hurt his grandmother's feelings since this is her remedy."

"Try me, " was the answer, " You are still welcome to come over WITHOUT the tonic and if you try to start any crap about it I will toss you both out."

They did come over ...without the tonic and wisely kept their mouths shut. Of course when she tried to tell on me to DH months later he scolded her for trying to purposely break our rules that we had both set up. lol

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Mil

Posted on Sun, Jan. 24, 2016 at 09:42 am

1. She looks like a man from the front and back. She is less likely to be mistaken as female and therefore less likely to be a victim of crime. Why she could even work on a movie set as a background extra portraying a male

2. She is comfortable with her poop. She feels confident and secure discussing its color, if it floats or sinks and if she is current taking stool softness. It doesn't matter if people are eating or even expressed interest in the matter. She keeps track of how long people in the bathroom and if you aren't in and out in seconds, she stands at the door telling them she has prunes and laxatives.

3. If you marry one of her adult children, remember, you are a outsider. It will never change. Her mission in life is to find her faults. If she doesn't observe anything, she will come up with a check list of things you may be guilting of and accuse you.

Examples?

"You spend too much money on clothes at expensive stores."

Reality, "I shop at thrift stores."

"You spend too much money on haircuts and hair color."

Reality, "I cut and color my own hair."

4. In a nutshell, once a outsider, always outsider.

Now, this part is actually a compliment!

Why? It is better to be a outsider than "one of the inlaws."

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Suck it SIL

Posted on Sun, Jan. 24, 2016 at 07:24 am

Found out that MIL brags about me when I'm not around and that makes you batshit crazy! Good. It kills you because you always have to be the best. Well you're not, so suck it!

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Don't let anyone manipulate you into a Walll

Posted on Sun, Jan. 24, 2016 at 05:34 am

I've lived for many years with hate against my ILs after how they all treated DH and me, and how the women in particular (who were not even blood relatives of DH btw) decided they had all rights to make my life hell because of their small minds and prejudice, no matter how grossly hypocritical they were being, and we're completely stupid enough to think they would still automatically play some type of family role in my children's lives because they illogically believed they were just so 'important.' Bet the 3 of you probably never thought that when I said I was empowering myself it meant I was done with you. permanently. and after 3 years and counting I hope it's sinking in. And as for dh's father and brothers they're just as bad as the women (and perhaps worse) because they just allowed these self-entitled idiots to wreck their family while looking the other way, but still think even up to today that Dh and I need them SO much that all they have to do is guilt-trip us about our kids and we'll just automatically bury the past and run back to their ignorant dysfunction because they're just SO important too and should be immune to any accountability for past wrongs.

The point is, that I used to seeth with anger over these people's attitude of self-importance, hypocrisy and selfishness. But after more of their arrogance before the holidays, even after all this time, I think something finally clicked in my head. I accepted that they are all just a bunch of arrogant, back-woods, prejudice and small-minded folk and that will never change. I could try to reason with them until pigs fly but they only hear what they want to hear. If they were reasonable people to begin with their behaviours would never have gotten so out of hand. And what do you do with people who have the rationality and IQ of a brick wall? You either unreasonably try to punch the wall to get it to try to change the fact that it is a wall and hurt yourself in the process, or you just walk away from the wall altogether and never entertain the idea again that the wall will ever be anything else than what it is. I did that by ceasing all final forms of communication with ILs before the holidays and I feel relieved. I don't care about them, don't want to hear about them, have no interest in them, and they are nothing more to me than a wall blocking my inner freedom. I just laugh now when extended ILs keep trying to manipulate me into embracing the wall back into my life out of their own small mindedness and selfish desires. What they'll probably never understand is that I have embraced the wall. Instead of fighting against it I'm walking away, not just physically anymore but emotionally too because I see it for the dead end it truly is and the barrier it poses for my future success. Hope you find a way to walk away from your IL walls too.

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Find a soft piece of sidewalk

Posted on Sat, Jan. 23, 2016 at 10:05 pm

My mil is totally in love with my dh. When we first got together and he told her he liked a dish I made she tried and failed to make it. If he got me a present she flipped out and asked why he didn't get her the same thing. We had a baby and she told dh he needed to divorce me, take our baby and live with her and they would raise our baby. I took my baby and moved to another state and dh followed. Years of crazy followed then a few years back I blocked everyone everyway you can. I told dh if any of them set foot on my property Id divorce him no if, ands or buts. Fast forward to today. Mil texts dh saying bil has business in our area and they're coming here overnight. I asked dh where they are staying. He said he didn't know. She can sleep in her car, find a soft piece of sidewalk, curl up by a dumpster, I don't care. The cow is not setting one hoof in my house. The overnighter she is planning is on days dh and dd work and Im not getting stuck with the shaved ape clan. I told dh take them to dinner. There was never a time that cleptomaniac didn't steal something from my house then turn around and give it to me as a "gift" she got at a yard sale. Im doing this to save everyone the can of whoop ass I am prepared to open on these fools. The nice girl who let everything slide has become the almost middle aged, premenopausal bitch who doesn't care what people think.

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The Airing of Greivances

Posted on Sat, Jan. 23, 2016 at 09:39 pm

I cannot stand my husband's grandfather.

1) His beliefs are the typical outdated, racist, sexist beliefs of the old days. I hate going to family gatherings because I have to hear that crap from him every time.

2) When DH and I were dating, he tried to set DH up with another girl! This girl had NOTHING in common with DH. His grandfather and I don't share any common interests, and he didn't like that. So he tried to set DH up with the type of girl HE would date, not the type of girl DH would date. Because he knows what kind of girl DH is looking for better than DH does, apparently.

3) This is not the first time DH's grandfather has tried to set this same girl up with other men. GFIL thinks it's odd for a woman to not be married and popping out babies before age 30, so he has taken it upon himself to meddle in this woman's life and "help" her find a man. Why don't you mind your own damn business?! There is NOTHING wrong with being single, and a woman doesn't need to be married or have children to be of value to society, you sexist jackass!

4) He LOVES to meddle in people's lives. He is SO controlling and manipulative! He uses "I just want to help" as a way to manipulate others into letting him take control of their lives. He met this young couple that were down on their luck, and offered to help them out financially. A very generous offer, yes? Wrong! Turns out, there were a lot of strings attached to his "generous" offer. They were required to attend church with him, every Sunday, no exceptions. They skipped church ONE Sunday, he was on his cell phone bombarding them with questions as to why they weren't at church. He also expected them to "live righteously" the entire time he was helping them, whatever that means. Call me crazy, but I think the Christian thing to do is to help someone WITHOUT strings attached! I don't think it's OK to manipulate people into going to church or living "righteously". But apparently God has appointed GFIL as judge over the rest of us sinners. He also meddled in their relationship all the time. Maybe mind your own business and let them work things out between themselves?

5) He was so rude to me the entire time DH and I were dating. He is a very warm, friendly person--to everyone except me! He ignored me at every family gathering, and when I moved closer and started going to church with his family, he ignored me every Sunday. We would go out to eat after church with him, and he, his wife, and my FIL would act like I wasn't even there! I tried to be friendly, I tried to make an effort to get to know him better, but every effort was met with short, curt answers, or sometimes he would just walk away without even answering me! It really hurts that he made such a quick decision to not like me without even trying to get to know me first.

6) I love St Patrick's Day. I showed up to church dressed all in green, saw he wasn't wearing green, gently pinched him, and playfully said, "You aren't wearing green!" He walked away in a huff. I could tell that offended him. I found out later that he and his wife don't believe in St Patrick's Day. Well how was I supposed to know that?! DH didn't even know that! Is that how you treat everyone who celebrates St Patrick's Day? Get over yourself, pull the stick out of your ass, and maybe try having some fun instead of being so stuffy!

7) He was incredibly rude to me after DH and I got engaged. He didn't like the way we decided to announce our engagement to everyone. Instead of congratulating us, he stood in the back and sulked like a child. He sulked for months afterwards, too. He didn't tell us why he was upset with us, but he told everyone else in the family behind our backs. He claimed we didn't "honor him", whatever that means, and painted himself like the victim to everyone. Guess what? You don't get a say as to how we announce our engagement! It is OUR engagement, and we will announce it the way WE think is best, not the way you think is best. You made our engagement about you, you selfish ass!

8) During our engagement, MIL and I got into a fight over wedding planning. She didn't speak to me for a month. I tried to respect her space, but after a month DH and I decided it would be best if I emailed her with an apology. So I did. His grandfather emailed him criticizing me for apologizing to MIL in an email instead of in person. First of all, it is hypocritical that you criticize me for apologizing by email IN AN EMAIL OF YOUR OWN. Second of all, the only reason I apologized by email was because MIL was refusing to speak to me or see me. Third, how I choose to handle things with my MIL is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I don't appreciate you sticking your nose into our fight and stirring things up. You think you're helping, but you're only making it worse by butting in. Typical control freak: you can't let two adults solve an argument on their own. You have to stick your nose in and dictate how it "should" be done.

9) I found out afterwards that the reason MIL didn't speak to me for a month was because GFIL was egging her on. The fight MIL and I got into was over such a minor thing. I was over it the very next day. DH and I were both surprised that she was refusing to speak to me over such a minor thing. That's because GFIL was manipulating her, painting me as this horrible person and convincing her not to talk to me or forgive me. He didn't want DH and I to get married, and was trying to stir up drama behind the scenes to keep the wedding from happening because he is a control freak!

10) He wrote a nasty email to DH after our wedding invitations went out. He was offended that our invitations weren't religious enough. He accused us of not putting Christ at the center of our lives or our marriage, just because our invitations didn't have a Bible verse on them! We went to church with him EVERY Sunday. Who are you to decide if someone isn't religious enough?! That is between them and God. He is so self-righteous. He thinks he is so perfect, and that he has the authority to tell everyone else what sinners they are. Why don't you focus on your own sins instead of judging every one else for not living up to your impossible standards!

11) GFIL and GMIL let us stay with them while we were looking for a house. BIG MISTAKE. I was making the bed DH and I had slept in, GFIL comes in and says in this patronizing, bossy tone, "That's not how you make a bed! THIS is how you make a bed!" He then shoved me out of the way and started instructing me on "proper" bed making. I am a grown woman. I do not need to be taught how to make a bed. I know how to make a bed. Just because I make the bed differently than you does not mean I need to be shown how. Your way is not the only way! I am so sick of how he acts like he is always right, and he knows all, and we all just need to do exactly as he says because he knows better than everyone else does how they should live their lives!

12) After we got back from our honeymoon, we thought it would be nice to invite GFIL and GMIL over for dinner. What did GFIL do when he arrived? He criticized how dirty our outside windows were, and then said, "Where's your hose? Let me show you how to clean them." EXCUSE ME?! You DO NOT come into my house and criticize how dirty it is (our windows were NOT dirty, btw, just not clean enough for his standards). And I do not need you to show me how to clean my windows, because I am a grown woman and I know how to clean my own windows!

13) GFIL and DH work together, so GFIL sees DH EVERY DAY. At the beginning of our marriage, DH would go to work, spend ALL day working with GFIL, come home, we would have dinner, and then after we had dinner GFIL would call DH and keep him on the phone ALL EVENING. He wouldn't get off the phone until bedtime, and DH was too polite to end the conversation earlier than that. Then DH would go to bed. GFIL was robbing me of my time with my husband! He saw him everyday! Why did he need to talk to him all evening, too! I finally said something to DH. He and I both agreed that the daily phone calls needed to stop. We came to GFIL and told him so, and explained why. GFIL looked at me and snapped, "Don't you tell me how to love my grandson!" I could not believe it! He was hogging my husband from me! And he didn't care, because he thinks the world revolves around him! Thankfully, GMIL understood where we were coming from and was able to talk some sense into him. The daily phone calls have stopped. But the fact that he was so inconsiderate of our marriage and time like that really irks me.

14) I brought my daughter up to the office to have lunch with DH and GFIL. GFIL asked her if she wanted some animal crackers. I told him that she couldn't have any because she was about to eat lunch, but he could give her some after lunch. A reasonable request, right? The glare GFIL gave me told me he didn't think so. I made he mistake of leaving her with him while I used the restroom. When I went back into his office, there she was holding an entire cup of animal crackers! Right before lunch! It spoiled her appetite. He does stuff like this all the time! I don't ask much of him. I think it is perfectly acceptable for a great-grandfather to spoil his great-granddaughter. But the very few times I do ask him to respect my rules, he ignores them! I asked him not to give her animal crackers until after lunch, and he should have respected that. He thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he is "Grandpa"! No one in the family ever stands up to him. No one in the family ever tells him no. He is so entitled!

15) He expects us to plan my children's birthday parties around his favorite football team's schedule. I'm serious! DH and I don't follow sports, so he sends us the team's schedule and tells us when it's best for HIM for us to have OUR children's birthday parties! He has never missed a game, and everyone in the family plans all family events (birthdays, weddings, etc) around him so that he won't miss a game. How selfish can you possibly be?! I made it clear right off the bat that I wasn't going to do that. When planning MY child's birthday party I will chose a date that best fits MY schedule! If you think a stupid football game is more important than your great-grandchildren's birthday that's your loss. DH agrees with me, so we ignore the schedule he sends us and choose a date that best fits our schedule. He has never once come to my children's birthday parties. And, of course, he plays it like he's the victim, like I'm choosing a date he "can't" come on purpose (which I am not). Choosing a football game over his great-grandchildren is something he is just going to have to live with.

I can't live like this anymore. I have let GFIL walk all over me. His entire family lets him walk all over them. What he doesn't know is that DH and I have been taking assertiveness classes. Our New Year's resolution is to start standing up to him and tell him no! We have been practicing, and we are going to start next month. For the first time in this man's entitled life, he is going to hear the word "no", and he is going to learn that he can't walk all over me or DH anymore!

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Both sides now...

Posted on Sat, Jan. 23, 2016 at 05:14 pm

I, too, have felt like the princess who said, there are three people in this relationship. Except the third one, of course, was my snake of a MIL. Now I have a little Lord Fauntleroy, unfortunately for a SIL. He is so fawned upon by his Mommy, and vice versa, that his panties are in a continual wad if he fancies his rich widdle feewings have been 'harmed' in any way. I am really looking forward to Heaven, where there will be no marrying or giving in marriage, because literally it has been Hell on Earth coming and going.

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And I'm the bad guy

Posted on Sat, Jan. 23, 2016 at 01:47 pm

MIL has 2 vacation homes in same town in FL. One is smaller, older, closer to the beach. Other house is larger, newer, has a pool, more amenities. Hubby asked if I would like to go in a few months. I distinctly said "only if no one else, I.e. His family, is going." Guess what, whole damn lot of 'em want to go now. They always stay in big newer house as it is closer to the bars. We asked to use the smaller house. I was uncomfortable with this, just knowing they're going to be there too. MIL has now decided to rent out the smaller house through a rental agency, conveniently forgetting that we asked to use it that week. Hubby still wants to go. Hell no! I don't find smoking, drinking, and gambling all to excess to be fun. He knows MIL hates me, I hate her too. Why would I want to go and stay with them? Now I'm the bad guy for not trying to get along. What? She is a back-stabbing, two-faced liar. He acknowledges she is like that, but that I should try harder. Um, no! I have no intention to spend my vacation with a herd of alcoholic self-absorbed toadies, all cow-towing to the almighty MIL who lords her pocketbook over the whole lot. I don't and won't suck up to her, simply because she is who she is. As I see her, she's a lying, two-faced piece of s#*t!

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Thank you for the lessons

Posted on Sat, Jan. 23, 2016 at 12:29 pm

It's been 18 years since I had the displeasure of meeting you. I was only 21 and stupidly eager for your approval. I wish I could have a Butterfly Effect moment and go back so I could react differently, reflect back some of your rudeness, change it all. But here we are. I used to think you ruined my life. I thought that your behaviour during every important event in our relationship/family life, had tainted our memories. I grieved not having a family who loved me and that my kids didn't have the relationship that I had with my grandparents.

I was wrong. You taught me how I don't want to be.

* Now that my eldest daughter has a baby, I know that I will do anything that I can to support her. That means asking what she needs, and if I can offer that I will. I won't just assume that what I see as her needs are really what she wants.
* Even though her partner isn't exactly my top choice for my daughter (he's a lot older, a heavy drinker, cheats, is aggressive), he was HER CHOICE. So I respect that. If he hurts her then I support her. I don't lash out at him. I don't drop snide remarks, make him feel unwelcome, give off disapproving looks. I can see that he has been through some things in life that I don't understand. He's the father of my grandson and my daughter loves him. So if he needs me I'm there.
* My grandson means the world to me. There isn't anything that I would do to jeopardise the bond that I have with him. That means that if I ever feel annoyed with how things are done, have personal issues with his parents or miss him so bad that I wish I could just go visit - I respect his parents. I don't see them as a gateway to him. I see us as a collaborative group of people who each have different roles in bringing him up into a man. I call ahead, agree that the catholic school is a great idea, and yes sugar at 16 months is just fine. He's their baby - not ours.
* There will be no secrets from his parents. No secret phone calls. No secret visits. I actually want him to share with his parents the wonderful relationship that we have - that means what we talk about, what we do, plans we have.
* I respect that my son in law and my grandson have an entirely separate family to us and that they play an equal role to us. There is no fighting for who is most "important" or "closest". In fact I have made it a point to get to know them and actually love sharing the grandparenting and parenting with someone else.
* I respect relationship boundaries. So, even if my daughter were to tell me that her partner had done cocaine and then stolen a car to break into a strip joint and sexually assault 12 hookers, I keep my mouth shut (that includes passive aggressive behaviour too). If he hurt her or my grandson I would then contact my daughter and offer as much support as possible.

My children are all older now and the fact that you've hurt me has hurt them. It's damaged their relationship with you - your great grandson is 16 months old and my daughter is still so angry that she can't bear to see you.

Nobody has won here. You got to pull your faces. You got to exclude me, make your nasty remarks, make me feel like a piece of garbage. Look where we are now. Your son is isolated. I no longer care. Your grandkids think you're a bitter old cow.

The saddest part is that there have been two babies born, an engagement, one child has started highschool. And there is more to come. You'll miss it. We'll miss. All because you couldn't play nice.

Thank you for showing me who I don't want to be. We're all closer than ever. And you're outside the circle of trust.

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