I Hate My Inlaws!

Welcome to I Hate My InLaws!

In-laws, and the quarrels they start, have been the subject of stories for many years. This is your opportunity to sound off about your own in-laws! Tell the world the story, or stories, of your in-laws. We're looking for the funny ones, the sad ones, the crazy ones, and every story in-between.

So what are you waiting for? Tell us why you HATE YOUR IN-LAWS!!! and read why others hate their in-laws.

If you would like others to reply with advice regarding your in-law situation or if you would like to give advice to those requesting it, please visit our In-Laws Forums.

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I Am Preparing For Your Visit, MIL. Bring It On!

Posted on Sat, Oct. 18, 2014 at 08:45 pm

I stopped speaking to my mother-in-law 6 months ago. It was the best decision I ever made. She is very passive-aggressive. She always wants to be The Hero, so she offers to help us with something, but then makes it very clear that she doesn't really want to do it by either showing up late, sabotaging it, or behaving like a martyr. She tries to use guilt to manipulate me and my husband all of the time. My husband calls her every Sunday to chat with her, but if he misses even ONE Sunday she sends him an "I miss you so much! I miss hearing your stories! I wish you would call more!" Of course, she never calls him. She always expects him to call HER, and then lays on the guilt when he doesn't. My husband has repeatedly told her, "If you want to talk to me, just call." But then she turns on the martyrdom: "But I don't want to bother you or call during an inconvenient time!" It drives him crazy, too. The reason I stopped talking to her entirely was because she and I got into an argument via text messaging (I acknowledge that is not the best way to communicate with someone when the two of you are arguing and I usually try to avoid doing that). Anyway, we both said some hurtful things to each other. At one point, she didn't respond to my text. I thought the conversation was over. Until I checked my email a few hours later. She had sent an email to me AND MY HUSBAND. The title of the email was, "Text [My Name] Sent to Me." She had copied the last text I sent (which, of course, had something I had typed in anger). She didn't explain what the fight was about. The email only had the last text I sent, followed by her response to the text and boy did she turn on the martyrdom! "Why are you so mean to me! I'm trying to be such a loving MIL! Why are you treating me like the enemy!" She could have said those things in a text to me. But come on. It's SO obvious why she typed all that up in an email and sent it to my husband. She basically dragged him into our argument hoping he would take her side. Thankfully, I have a wise husband who asked me what the email was about. I showed him the text conversation (while I try to avoid fighting with people via text, I'm SO thankful I did that time!) and he saw the hurtful things we BOTH said. So my MIL's attempt to paint herself as the victim backfired since I had proof that she wasn't. I also apologized to my husband for what I said to his mother (and apologized to her as well). He didn't respond to her email at all, because he was wise enough not to let his mother pull him into the middle of our conflict. I have very quickly learned that I can't loose my temper with my MIL, because she is VERY good at painting herself as The Victim. Before I got married, she and I got into an argument that SHE started, and before I knew it she had turned my fiance (now husband), her husband, her MIL and FIL, and her daughter and son-in-law against me and pinned me as the bad guy. Thankfully, my fiance was willing to hear my side of the story, and once he did he went into diplomat mode. Seriously, my husband is a saint for putting up with this woman for his entire life! I get to spend Thanksgiving with her. What a joy that will be! NOT! This 6 months of not talking has really done wonders, though. I noticed patterns in her behavior and have come up with plans to handle them in a mature way that will also protect me from her manipulation. I am reading a lot of books and articles about dealing with passive-aggressive people, setting healthy boundaries, and how to be more assertive. I will conduct myself with such decorum that the next time she tries to paint me as the villain and her as the victim, no one will believe her. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she realizes that her manipulation doesn't work on me!

Love This In-laws Story! (22 Loves) Permanent Story Link

FIL...

Posted on Sat, Oct. 18, 2014 at 02:26 pm

Unlike so many others on here, you have never done anything wrong towards me. I hate you because of how you treat your son. You beat him when he was a child, and left him to fend for himself. For whatever reason he chose to forgive you and now you treat him like your own personal taxi service. He'll drop everything for you, and you take advantage every chance you get. And what do you do for him? Nothing. You paid to get your step son's new house re-decorated and furnished. When your son finally managed to afford his own place, you only ever bought him a discounted kettle... as a birthday present. You bought your step-daughter-in-law a 50" LCD TV last Christmas... and bought your son a mug and a DVD... the mug came free. And what did you buy me? (Not that I care, or wanted anything). You gave me a ripped-off (copied) CD that you had previously told me you had had for free by an artist you knew I didn't like.

Love This In-laws Story! (18 Loves) Permanent Story Link

WHAT?

Posted on Sat, Oct. 18, 2014 at 12:29 pm

I tolerate my in-laws, and it takes GREAT effort. I mean really, really, really GREAT effort! With that said, you can imagine how I felt when my husband volunteered to have a surprise birthday party for his mother at our home. WTF? Guess who is sleeping on the couch tonight.

Love This In-laws Story! (23 Loves) Permanent Story Link

Oh really?

Posted on Sat, Oct. 18, 2014 at 08:55 am

You ridiculed me for YEARS for having a autoimmune disease. Even though I work hard and do the absolute best i can possibly do while my immune system attacks my organs.
Then directly after another insult..you throw your hand on your forehead and collapse on our couch while whining about A HEADACHE?! Excuse me? You really don't understand why I have no pity for your headache? Really?
I'm done. Fed up. You people have had your last laugh at my expense and your son is exactly like you. Final straw has been drawn.

Love This In-laws Story! (53 Loves) Permanent Story Link

My Nephew Deserves Better

Posted on Fri, Oct. 17, 2014 at 10:19 am

Sometimes I wonder if the only reason my SIL had children is because she thinks that's what women are supposed to do. I didn't start dating my husband until after her first child was born, so I don't know how she behaved while she was pregnant then, but I witnessed her pregnancy with baby number 2 and she did not seem excited about it at all. She complained about having the baby the entire time she was pregnant. When she found out it was going to be a boy, she complained and said she didn't know what she was going to do with a boy. Honestly, I think if my nephew had been a girl she would have complained, "What am I going to do with TWO girls?!" When my nephew was born, she didn't seem very happy about it. When he cries, it seems like she holds him out of obligation more than anything else. She complains about her children more than she praises them. At my bridal shower my friends and I joked that I was going to have a lot of kids, and my SIL replied, "You'll rethink that after having your first kid because being a mother is horrible." She said that while she was holding her second child. I'm trying to have compassion for her and not judge her, but at the same time if you think being a mother is so horrible then why did you have a second child?

I feel so sorry for my nephew (who is 18 months old). He is such a sweet, happy baby. He deserves a mother who actually wants him.

They are not going to have a good relationship. She's already an overbearing parent with my niece, and since he's the child she didn't want who knows how she'll treat him. He'll grow up to resent her. And she'll play the role of the victim, wondering why her son has cut her out of his life. Gee, SIL, maybe it's because you never wanted him and treated him like shit his whole life!

Love This In-laws Story! (55 Loves) Permanent Story Link

A son is a son until he takes a wife..

Posted on Fri, Oct. 17, 2014 at 07:48 am

You know, that wouldn't have to be the case if you didn't treat your son and DIL like crap.

Love This In-laws Story! (82 Loves) Permanent Story Link

Learning to Forgive Myself

Posted on Thu, Oct. 16, 2014 at 06:48 pm

I've mulled it over in my head so many times ... what could I have done differently? Maybe I was too stupid for being so nice in the beginning and throwing my 'pearls to pigs' as they say. Maybe that's why you thought it was okay to target me because you thought I would just endure it and not stand up for myself.

Or maybe I was dumb for being so naïve and just assuming the word 'family' meant inclusivity, respect, consideration, equality and all around good will for those in the family.

At other times I've berated myself for not having the wisdom to be more emotionally disciplined when confronted with your ongoing abuse and bullshit. I was so unprepared to deal with this type of hatred within, I didn't know I had it in me, and it is something I struggle to overcome. I've been ashamed at times when I think back to the past, how I didn't know how to handle the hatred without sinking to your level on the odd occasion, which only escalated your cruelty and justification for it.

I've even scolded myself for not cutting you off sooner and ignoring my gut instincts, falsely believing you lot would change and admit to the error of your ways so long as I hung in there as 'fake' family for the sake of my DH and kids.

But the cold, hard truth is, even if I had done things differently it wouldn't have changed a damn thing. I had fallen into a den of snakes and was trapped long before I even knew what was happening.

So I'm learning to forgive myself. No, I'm not perfect, but I did the best I could under the toxic circumstances. I tried to look out for the best interests of the people I love, my DH and kids, and perhaps they had to see the torment you put me through before they were ready to let go of you as well-- it all stemmed from your disrespect and bad will toward my DH anyway. Sad how you never loved him enough in order to show some type of respect to the people he loves, at the very least so you could maintain your relationship with him.

Sometimes I think about going back into the past, knowing what I know now, and handling things 'perfectly' (or at least a lot more wisely) and I've come to the somber conclusion that we would still be at this place today -- estranged, because I'm not the type of person who will put up with abuse, and that is who you are by very definition, abusers. And it doesn't seem as though you have ever been held accountable for this from your group of enablers and allies.

You didn't use your fists to abuse. I have no physical wounds. But you used your words and snide remarks to abuse. You abused by forming unfair alliances. You abused by exclusion. You abused by doing what you could to destroy my reputation. You abused by your silent treatments. You abused by having no empathy for my rights and needs as a fellow human being, not to mention as a fellow family member. You abused by vilifying me and using me as scapegoat for your toxic dysfunction.

And you did it all with a smile.

The emotional wounds you left run deep and I've been left to try to heal those wounds the best way I can, though the scars will always remain. Setting firm boundaries against you and toxic people like you is one of the ways I've taken back some of my power.

So 'dear' EFIL, E-stepMIL, EBILS, ESIL (and separated EBIL's wife) this is to let you know that I'm working on forgiving myself. You are not worth any type of self-loathing because you are the source of the problem no matter how you look at it. Maybe one day I'll reach a point where I can forgive you, and truly pity you instead of hate you. But I need to work on being compassionate to myself first.

Love This In-laws Story! (74 Loves) Permanent Story Link

Arrogant, badly behaved MIL

Posted on Thu, Oct. 16, 2014 at 02:09 pm

She is soo arrogant, badly behaved & does not have any manners or any decency, she does not even have any manners of how to treat the other person with respect. She has been like this all her life. She expects me to ask about her, bow down to her, worship her, call her everyday even though I dont live in the same country as her. She has never ever cared to call me even when my son was born, never even has the manners to even ask me how I am doing, does not have the basic skills of a human being but expects me to bow down to her. She is used to dominating, others in the family who are terrified of her, FIL, useless & uneducated both BIL & his wife because she worked all her life, they want her money. I have a bigger career than you & I make 10 times more money than you have ever made in your lifetime. So why should I bow down to you, when you treat me like a scrap, hated me from day one as your son married me against your will. I will never bow down to you, you will never get want you want from me. You have never done anything for me, why should I do anything for you. You will get the same treatment from me that you give me. If you want respect learn to give it first, learn the basic skills of a human being first.

Love This In-laws Story! (51 Loves) Permanent Story Link

My in-laws are lazy moochers!

Posted on Thu, Oct. 16, 2014 at 11:13 am

We cut off NIL. Not sending her money anymore. She is so rude for asking. She never invited us to her wedding in the first place. What a loser! ESIL likes to live out of other peoples pockets too. EBIL is just the same. He's always been a deadbeat mooching off of his parents. What is it with this family that they can't be independant financially and stand on their own two feet. They throw pity parties and expect us to get sucked into their drama. No, we don't feel sorry for you. You've made your own bed so lie in it. Instead of trying to financially exploit relatives and mooch off of relatives you should try to reciprocate and be a bit generous yourself. Not a chance. It is only one sided with people like you. What you can get out of people. Well, our bank is closed!

Love This In-laws Story! (49 Loves) Permanent Story Link

Just noooo!

Posted on Thu, Oct. 16, 2014 at 09:08 am

Wouldn't that be nice? I wish I could always say no to your fat ass! But I will say no to the following now:
1. No super Christian you aren't better than me no matter how often you go to church or teach a bible class!
2. You are the grandma so no you're not automatically entitled to the kids' schedules and we still choose what we want you invited to our kids and our rules !
3. No you can't give less than a day's notice before coming over I wouldn't let another soul do that toe so why
Should I let you? Family doesn't get to be treated any differently! Sorry!
4. No you can't use guilt against us and esp not against your own grandkids! ! How horrible is that? You can try but it won't be allowed!
5. No you don't always get your way! Compromise !
6. No you are not part of our family you and your husband are one family and we're our own family you are on the outside of our circle !
7. No you can't intrude into our business or our private family matters!
8. No you can't get away with gossip because it will burn you in the end
9. No attempts to make me look bad to my husband or other family actually make me look bad but only make you look bad!
10.no you can't make
Me get into trouble with my husband! He's my equal!

Love This In-laws Story! (30 Loves) Permanent Story Link