I Hate My Inlaws!

Not Even A "Real" In-Law

Posted on Tue, Jan. 08, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Dearest Paternal Aunt-In-Law,

We already wasted enough of our precious time confronting you for your horrendous emotional and mental abuse toward my DH. And given your past performance, we know you won't stop trying to reel him back in with your trite and petty manipulative tactics. Get a clue, lady - you're emailing him at a JOINT ACCOUNT, to which he has forwarded all email conversations with you. I've seen it all - the harassment for not responding within 24 hours, while we were in the middle of moving into our new apartment and didn't even have the internet; the dismissal of working on his marriage in favor of retaining his relationship with you; the cruel and hostile language you used to demand an apology for my him not giving you "due gratitude" for trying to "keep in touch" with him; the threats to remove financial means that you had arranged for his therapy, and then the snide, ripping comments you made about him needing therapy so that he could be fixed to your satisfaction ... You should've listened to our request that you wait for us to call, when we had time. You opted to start hostile email arguments, instead. Thank you. We now have your hateful behavior time-stamped for posterity.

And yes, we have BOTH noticed that during business hours, you decline to respond to MY emails answering a question you have posed to "both of us", but that if HE "signs" the email alone, you respond within 10 minutes and try to coax him into conversation. Your campaign to draw out his vulnerability again so that you can control and attack is ridiculous. Your attempts to start "detached" discussions with him about people of my ethnicity or with my mental disorder are shameless. Your agenda is transparent.

You may not want to discuss it, but we're fully aware that you've been married and divorced twice, that your third man placed a restraining order against you, and that your only child moved 500 miles away ten years ago and has only visited twice a year for strictly family holidays. And yet YOU persist in asserting yourself as my husband's resource for advice on depression, networking, and relating to people on a "feeling level"? Um, no.

In the 4 years I've known my DH, I've only seen and heard from you at holidays. You aren't and never have been a guiding or influential force in his life. He recognized that long before you fixed your beady little sights on him a mere two months before our wedding and decided you needed to command his sympathy before this outsider stole it away from you forever. Know what? It's too late. He just thought you were a nuisance, before. Now he thinks you're the bride of Lucifer. He's admitted and repented playing the fool for you, for that 2 months. He won't be your yes-man, your emotional masturbator, or your replacement for the men who cut you off.

Truth is, to us, you're not even a "real" in-law, to whom we owe even our civility, after what you've pulled. I've had a great friendship with my MIL since before I was married. Among the many things we have in common, we share the belief that both you and your self-serving little brother (my FIL) are from another planet. My husband's mother despises you, you first-class narcissistic attention whore - do you think you'll get a shred of unearned respect from either DH or me?

We newly married, for crapsake. No one else is bothering us, as we go about the business of setting up our lives, together. YOU are the only one demanding that DH give you more attention and credibility than his wife! Because of your age and personality, we made an effort to set gentle boundaries, and you shat on them. And somehow, after all that, you try to guilt us for refusing to include ourselves in that self-congratulatory circle-jerk you call holiday gatherings and deciding to spend our first married Christmas/New Year's by ourselves??? As DH so eloquently puts it, "Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass 'go'. Do not collect $200."

Get used to the symphony of our silence, beyotch. You'll be hearing it for a long, long time.

All The Best,
The Closer

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