I Hate My Inlaws!

I'm out but I still hate you

Posted on Thu, Jan. 11, 2018 at 02:02 pm

Hey Dicks,

MIL: You're an awful person and I'm not at all surprised you finagled your way into my house merely weeks after I moved out. I'm even less surprised you took my bedroom. Now you and your son (my future ex-husband) can play house there until you die from your multiple ailments, which will be not long from now, based on the look of you. I used to think that I would dance on your grave. But tbh it seems like it would be an awful lot of work. Sorry, because you really do deserve a grave dance. I was thinking of something sexy from Paula Abdul's "Cold-Hearted Snake" video.

AIL: We saw you did a local TV ad for the republicans and we laughed forever about it. You look like someone from the early 1990s time-traveled with a case of discontinued Avon cosmetics to make you up into a (very fat) eldery drag queen. Not to be mean but it looks like you are still eating your feelings. Here's a tip: CBT- Cognitive Behavior Therapy. You can learn how to stop being a despicable cunt, but you'd have to face some of your demons. Like the fact everything you have you have because it was literally handed to you. You have the power to make a difference in your life and in others' lives. And you can start by never, ever hiring that makeup artist again.

SIL: It's like you fucking don't exist since I moved away from your brother! I mean, it was like you didn't fucking exist for quite some time before that, but that was a hard-won respite & one that always felt uncertain. I remember you existed a few weeks ago when I stopped by the old place and saw, among piles of shit in the front hall (no one there to tidy up anymore), a package from you and your poor husband. "Oh right," I thought, "that bitch." Anyway, you're awful and it's a fucking miracle that you are no longer linked to me in any way. Your whole family is a toxic fucking mess!

GMIL: You paid for his divorce lawyer but you wouldn't bail him out of the financial mess he made that ultimately was the final straw with us. Ok. I see what you did there. Thank you for expediting my freedom, bitch. :)

Cousins and whatever: You are part of the problem as long as you enable their behavior. I get that they are wealthy and they tell you they're important. But how do they actually make you feel? Just kidding I definitely don't give a fuck about you. I haven't since you did nothing, absolutely nothing, to defend me from the main cunts above.

In conclusion,
Tonight I'll be sleeping in the loving arms of my non-personality-disordered bf, whom I love and respect (and whom I'll never marry because life is too short for in-laws!)
Say what you want about me,
It doesn't matter.
*middle finger*

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