Thank yous for gifts

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bsfighter1
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Thank yous for gifts

Post by bsfighter1 » Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:28 pm

This topic has more to do with entitlement in the general society. I'm wondering if it's just me, but I notice a good number of people these days who are lacking in social etiquette and appreciation when it comes to thanking someone for a gift. I'm not talking about sending each and every person handwritten thank you cards (I used to do this), but now understand those days are long gone even though they still sell thank you cards at the store. I'm also not talking about people lavishing you with praise and attention for giving them something. I'm just talking about a simple acknowledgment, as in thank you for thinking of us (my children) etc.

Specific examples of this that I've encountered are parents these days who invite you to their kids parties, take your gift without even thanking you for it there, don't let kid open it in front of you (which I can understand for practical reasons) but then take the gift home and you never get even an acknowledgement from them or their child. It's like it's just expected you are to spend money on their child and pay your way for the party they invited you too.

Another example I see frequently are brides and groom who don't send thank yous out to there guests for all the money and time they spent on them.... maybe you're fortunate enough to receive some type of after tgought card 8 months to a year later! And before I consider the excuse that they were waiting on their 'pictures' if I had a photographer that took that long to process them I would ensure that I tell everyone not to ever use them, and would probably just send an unprofessional photo for my thank you card instead to not have people wait that long. What's up with folks these days? Have we all become just an accepted society of selfish,entitled and rude people?

jigglypuff
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by jigglypuff » Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:48 pm

What's up with folks these days? Have we all become just an accepted society of selfish,entitled and rude people?
Yes. It's entitlement and people raising their children poorly. Society is going down the toilet.

The lack of appreciation and manners drives me crazy. Every single time I came across a person who could never a muster a simple thank you, always turned out to be a huge douchebag. Every. Single. Time. I'm not referring to those who may accidentally forget from time to time. I'm talking about the kind of people who do it habitually. I know some might say that we should consider the possibility of their being an introvert but I'm sorry, being an introvert is no excuse for acting like an inconsiderate ass. And I don't believe that has anything to do with introversion. As a matter of fact, some of the most gracious and grateful people I know are introverts.

Now I'm no etiquette nazi. I don't send thank you notes/cards and there are many rules of etiquette I don't agree with but I always say my please, excuse me's and thank you's. It's not hard to send a thank you in a text or even over social media. It's common courtesy and without these courtesies, we end up living in a society of what is occurring now. Entitled brats, ingrates and hurt people who feel used and unappreciated.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

bsfighter1
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by bsfighter1 » Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:46 pm

I just LOVE the introvert excuse, don't you? And what an insult to introverts! I happen to be an introvert, so that means because people like me are on the quieter side it naturally predisposes us to being rude and ill mannered. It never fails to amaze me the stuff that folks will just make up out of thin air, with no evidence to back it, just to twist and excuse socially lacking behaviour. This is another reason I think society is going down the toilet, because there are just too many people out there who turn a blind eye, or keep making excuses for behaviours in order to be a 'good' person. But that's another post.

In terms of introverts not saying thank you, it is actually the folks I woukd define as more extroverted who have usually been the main culprits for ill manners, and even the odd (possible) introvert who is ill mannered I've come across has been perfectly able to chit chat on the street with select neighbours, but can not even utter a casual hello when you walk by, even if you're the one who is saying hello to them! For me, this goes far beyond introversion. It's downright rudeness with a touch of superiority complex.

miwako
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by miwako » Sun Nov 06, 2016 7:55 pm

My husband's older relatives not only don't say thank you, they also complain about receiving gifts in the first place. I honestly don't know why he bothers.

The introvert thing is tricky. Obviously it doesn't excuse people for not thanking people for things. Some people accuse me of being rude because I just don't have anything to say. That's ridiculous too.

bsfighter1
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by bsfighter1 » Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:03 am

miwako wrote:My husband's older relatives not only don't say thank you, they also complain about receiving gifts in the first place. I honestly don't know why he bothers.

The introvert thing is tricky. Obviously it doesn't excuse people for not thanking people for things. Some people accuse me of being rude because I just don't have anything to say. That's ridiculous too.
Hi Miwako. Introversion is tricky, but I think there is a difference between someone calling another person rude because they don't readily strike up a 10-20 minute conversation with them (if this is others definition of rude then I guess I'm a main culprit too, because despite being polite and friendly in spirit, i find it an effort to walk over to every neighbour or work colleagues to chit chat about the weather, the types of flowers Jane next door is planting in her yard, and where Donna at work got her hair done..etc) and simple things like acknowledging someone's existence by saying hello (or at least saying hello back in a somewhat friendly manner) , saying goodbye, please and thank you are just very basic social courtesies that I think most of us hopefully still expect our young children to adopt, so for me there really is no excuse when adults don't even have those base manners whether extrovert or introvert, and I would define that as rude. But that's just my viewpoint.

Bella07
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by Bella07 » Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:43 pm

bsfighter1 wrote:What's up with folks these days? Have we all become just an accepted society of selfish,entitled and rude people?
Yes. Sadly, yes. People suck. I work retail and see on a regular basis how entitled and obnoxious people are. It's really something.

I'm still pretty old fashioned and I tend to send thank you cards.

It irritates me when people don't thank you for wedding gifts. I put a lot of time and consideration into the gifts I give people. It's like putting it into a black hole and nothing.

I'm an introvert and have worried about how to act when opening gifts and whether I seemed appreciative enough. Sometimes I'll follow up with another thank-you. The irony is that the immediate reaction has little to do with the actual appreciation of the gift. Generally I'm quieter the more amazing it is because I'm in awe.

jigglypuff
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by jigglypuff » Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:13 pm

it is actually the folks I woukd define as more extroverted who have usually been the main culprits for ill manners
Yes! This has been my experience too.
The introvert thing is tricky. Obviously it doesn't excuse people for not thanking people for things. Some people accuse me of being rude because I just don't have anything to say. That's ridiculous too.
It's ridiculous but in our society you're deemed abnormal if you're not outgoing and social. EBIL once insulted me over my lack of attendance when it came to his stupid family events. Weird since I was a lot more chatty with the ILs than his own wife was. MIL even said I was easier to talk to than ESIL. Why he thought my absence meant I had issues with socializing made no sense to me. Little did he know I had health issues I was struggling with. Would have been wise of him to ask why I was MIA but of course, that would be too kind of him.
It irritates me when people don't thank you for wedding gifts.
I hate that. DH and I never got a thank you from SFIL's son and his younger cousin for our expensive baby shower gift. That really bothered me. We saw and heard from EBIL several times after his wedding and he never, not once, thanked us for the gift we gave them. ESIL sent out thank you cards about 8 months later and although I normally wouldn't care but they could have thanked us in person or through text and never bothered. I wish we had shown up without a damn gift. That would have really steamed ESIL.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

IrishLass
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Re: Thank yous for gifts

Post by IrishLass » Mon Nov 21, 2016 10:22 am

I love my thank you cards! True my handwriting is bad, but I still send them and my son's do as well. I remind them that manners are apart of social graces and being kind to others. In our house these things are expected on a daily basis.

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