I'm growing but this is still so hard =(

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I'm growing but this is still so hard =(

Postby Mara » Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:47 pm

I'm learned to not "play God" and try to control things that are out of my control. This is a huge weight off my shoulders (like not worrying about H maxing out HIS credit card with no money to pay it off; not worrying about H's credit score plummeting due to his irresponsible financial choices).

But this hurts so much. Grieving my shattered dreams. It hurts to think of what could have been and what we have lost. It hurts to see my kids without a father. It hurts that the one hour a week that he sees them, he is distracted due to his mental illness. Or they see me crying when he begins to be emotionally abusive/mean/angry to me. It hurts to think about how this illness has destroyed HIS life. He does absolutely nothing all day. He has no friends, no relationships. He doesn't talk to anyone except a few of his family members. I don't think he's exercising and his weight is the highest it has ever been (exercise and eating and living healthy used to be a big priority to him). He is confused and doesn't comprehend things (which he is normally a very intelligent person).
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Re: I'm growing but this is still so hard =(

Postby Melody » Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:49 am

So sorry you're dealing with this Mara. Regarding your IL's taking over (in a very bad way), I don't know if this would help or potentially make things worse, but have you considered calling adult CPS? (ANONOMOUSLY of course - CPS will know who called, but they are not supposed to say).

Making things harder for you and the children aside (if that's even possible), you're IL's are NOT taking adequate care of DH and from what you describe they are hindering his recovery.

And you shouldn't feel like you are interfering. Granted CPS (or whatever authority can handle this) makes mistakes BUT if there is little they can do, they will do nothing. But if there IS something they can do - like get DH real help - and force the IL's to stop SOME of their stupid behavior, there is more help.
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