Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

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Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby i'll rise » Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:17 pm

Was wondering if anyone has had to deal with this and how you handled it?
Last edited by i'll rise on Fri Dec 29, 2017 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
i'll rise
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Re: Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby bsfighter1 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:55 pm

I’ve dealt with the jealousy thing (or other power and control behaviours) at various places of work quite a bit. It’s an awful feeling. I find that incompetent people are usually the main culprits when it comes to jealousy because your results show them up. Instead of using that ‘envy’ to try to get better at their own job they decide to pull you down instead to feel better about themselves. I find these types of people do not particularly like to grow. They like seats of power but want to do as little as possible to deserve the title of leader. Seeing other leaders (or colleagues) actually work means that it’s showing them up.

When I come across people like this (I can think of one person that I deal with now off the top of my head who tries to undermine me) it’s upsetting, but instead of trying to win their acceptance, I just put them in the category of ‘trouble maker’ and keep an eye on them, voice my concerns with others when appropriate, behave in a civil manner when I must see them, but try to avoid them otherwise.

Years ago, people like this would have crushed me because I would take it personal. Not saying it doesn’t tick me off and get my anxiety up because it’s very unpleasant dealing with it, but these days I understand their behaviours speak volumes about them and their incompetence, character and insecurities than it does about me. Don’t let anyone succeed in stealing your shine. They’d like nothing more.
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Re: Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby Bella07 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:35 am

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this unpleasant situation. It's annoying and stressful and unnecessary. Bsfighter gave you good advice.

In my experience haters are gonna hate, especially those they see as competition to them. Essentially, they are jealous of you. They may dislike you even, but really, that's irrelevant. I have been going through a similar situation. It's hard because you just want to get along and do your job without the extra drama. The good news is that these people tend to hang themselves. People see what they are doing. They look petty. Just keep documenting things where possible and mention incidents to people. Try to stay above it.
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Re: Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby Melody » Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:02 am

There was a similar type of post a while back about dealing with workplace issues. I want to say it was Hiddengem's? That may not be right, maybe you could search for that.

Of course BSfighter and Bella are right, but my initial thought was to make a lunch appointment with this other manager and ask her what you could both do to make a more productive working team - or something to that effect. But heck, my managerial experience is more with stuff and projects rather than managing people - which sounds like an absolute horror to me, lol.
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Re: Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby WatchingMyBack » Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:11 pm

What a lot of unnecessary stress and counter productive nonsense. I'm not good at dealing with people like that either.

My current situation is DH sold our business and as part of the transition, the person taking over the administrative functions that I've done for the last 30+ years is driving me crazy. I will tell her something that needs to be done. She will ask me to detail how I have done it. I will explain the process. She will tell me that is "wrong" and not how she does it. She then proceeds to tell me how she will do it "her" way. After putting up with her for two months, I've decided she is a bully and a control freak, and feels threatened by the more efficient way that I've done things. I embrace technology and use downloads from the bank and credit card companies directly into my accounting software, keep digital copies of vendors invoices in folders on our server, use online banking for bill payments, etc. Evidently, ALL of that is wrong and the accounting and bill paying should be done like she has always done it since 1972. She has an assistant (one of two that she apparently needs) come to our location and use my computer to access the accounting program and individually enter credit card transactions (there are literally several hundred a month, most from the USPS, Fedex and other repetitive vendors) for hours. Instead of keeping digital PDF copies of vendor invoices, which makes them easier to reference or searchable, she makes photo copies (single sided, no less). The volume of wasted paper is staggering. She printed out a 26 page UPS statement and I asked the assistant why. I explained to her that if they need to search for a transaction, using the PDF version is very easy. Nope, they'd rather do it visually going through transaction after transaction. The waste of time is insane.

She asked me to provide her with a list of "everything you do" because she "doesn't know what I do". Well, I've been doing every bit of odd job flotsam and jetsam for a long time and we have a very unique business model. I can't possibly document every task I do day in and day out because every day is different. The few repetitive tasks (like download banking, or process payroll or pay quarterly taxes, etc.) she's already said she has her own process, so I told her I won't be providing a list of 'what I do'. She's trying to prove something to herself or to the owner, and I'm not going to play her game. By continually saying the way I've done things is "wrong", justifies how she does things in her antiquated, tight fisted control way. She has definitely created a convoluted accounting process in which she has made herself indispensable and created jobs for two friends of hers.

I don't have an employment contract with them and I've already told DH, if they're not happy with me, then fire me. :lol:

I have asked her if she plans to learn the specialized mailing software that is the other component of my job (and all that I feel they actually are paying me for at this point) and she looked at me with shock and horror. No? Why not? I'm sure I've been doing it "wrong" and certainly this is a much more complicated and time consuming way of doing it than I have been.
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Re: Dealing with Workplace Jealousy

Postby miwako » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:11 am

You're in a tough situation because it sounds like your boss is the one escalating things with her. Publicly shaming people isn't a good strategy for anyone, and it only makes crazy people more crazy.

I like the lunch meeting idea. It may help show her that you are just trying to do the job and that you want what's best for everyone, not just to show her up. Try to look at things from her perspective. If she's had some major screw-ups, she's going to be paranoid about her own position and is probably doing stupid things out of that fear. That doesn't mean she's right, but it will help you get an idea of what motivates her.

And if that doesn't work and she's just a loony, it's still good for you because it shows that you made the effort.
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