Under Attack at Work

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Under Attack at Work

Postby i'll rise » Sat Jan 27, 2018 2:25 pm

I’ve written here before regarding what seemed to be a jealous colleague and her behaviour towards me. I really appreciated everyone’s advice and suggestions on how to cope with that. What I had done was continued to treat her well and be positive towards her. Things appeared to be getting better, although there were still instances here and there where she would feel the need to posture a bit but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as what she had done in the past. My boss was also treating her better, which I think helped the situation also.

Fast forward to recently, and her behaviour has come back tenfold like a lion in a more escalated and underhanded way.

This is on the heels of us having what I considered a really great meeting in my office about some work we were doing and feeling like things were better with her and that we were working quite well together despite an instance of “miscommunication” where we seemed to have crossed-wires over which one of us was tackling a different part of a project. At that time, she and I seemed to get that resolved very quickly between the two of us, and we got the project done on time and it looked great. I considered that a minor blip and overall had a positive outcome.

What happened this time where she more actively attacked me basically amounted to another “misunderstanding” about work process (even though I thought it was clearly outlined and understood between us….I even had reiterated it in an email). This time, however, she complained about me to my boss. I then received an email from my boss that left me rather shocked. I felt like I had been knifed. And I feel as though any trust with this woman has been obliterated from my standpoint. Given this, I have wondered if these “misunderstandings” are a deliberate attempt to set me up, as I’m able to work well with everyone else in the office without incident.

I know this colleague from a previous company we worked at together years ago – we never worked closely but a past co-worker at that place had confided in me that this person was in constant competition with her and seemed to try to dominate her during meetings all the time. So, given that information, this colleague’s treatment of me now is not surprising.

The one undercurrent in her behaviour that seems to raise it’s head towards me is her coming across as if she’s trying to treat me as her subordinate rather than a peer in management. She has “queen bee” issues and I view this issue with her as her trying to adjust to me being a new person on the management team, which is compounded by the fact that I’ve been doing extremely well at my job since joining the company. She likes attention and knowing her status and stature in the office – and then here I come along, threatening that. My boss has also publicly praised me in front of everyone, on more than one occasion.

I’m the type of person who likes to resolve things and if there’s an issue with someone, to talk to them about it to come to some type of understanding and smooth things out. In this instance, I’ve laid-low and not engaged too much with her. I made a polite, positive comment when I came into work the morning after she complained about me, and that seemed to break the tension (on the surface, at least). After that, group meetings where we’ve both been present have been relatively cordial given the circumstances.

My inclination in this is to lay-low, focus on my work and try to keep my nose clean with this person, but to not try to approach her about resolving the issues. It’s awful, though, because I feel like I’ve got a snake laying in the background waiting to strike at a moment’s notice. I get along with everyone else, except her and one of her subordinates who she’s turned against me.


Just curious what you would do in my situation?
Last edited by i'll rise on Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
i'll rise
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Re: Under Attack at Work

Postby Melody » Sat Jan 27, 2018 2:50 pm

It sounds like you are handling this well. However, I think you should update your resume, LinkedIn profile and post a resume on Indeed.com and CASUALLY start looking. Just my two cents
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Re: Under Attack at Work

Postby i'll rise » Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:25 pm

Thanks for your advice Melody -- you're right, I need to be on my toes and ready for the possibility that I may have to move on from this job if the situation becomes unmanageable.

Though, of course, I really love this job and I literally get along well with the all of the rest of the staff. My boss also says he respects me and is happy with my work.
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Re: Under Attack at Work

Postby jigglypuff » Mon Jan 29, 2018 9:40 am

Sounds like a typical borderline nutcase.

Be very careful with borderline women, they will not stop until they take you down. She will go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. Anything will trigger her too. If she is not happy in one aspect of her life (and they're never happy with anything), she will make you pay for it. They are highly jealous and competitive too. She will always target a female to hate on and make miserable. How do I know? My mother and my mother's side are full of them. I believe my ESIL is one as well and she behaved exactly like this with me. She would not stop until she tarnished my name and had me removed from the picture and she succeeded.

Be prepared to deal with this for as long as she's present. She will never stop. She will create reasons to hate you and will lie about anything. She will find a way to set you up so tread lightly. I would suggest you avoid her at all costs. Be cordial, hi and bye kind of thing but nothing more than that. Don't ever be alone with her. Don't contact her one on one without a third party present, whether it's email or otherwise. Always make sure there's another pair of eyes around to catch her behavior.

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. I hope for everyone's sake, she somehow loses her job and gives you some peace.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'
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Re: Under Attack at Work

Postby mamarama » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:01 pm

What did you say to your boss when he talked to you about the email she sent him?
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