I need your opinions and thoughts.
We moved to an active adult 55+ community a year ago January in a southern state to be near GS. It has actually been pretty nice in terms of making a lot of fun new friends and having a lot of activities to participate in. Sometimes it's almost too much because DH and I were pretty much just took care of PIL and worked all the time, and after PIL passed away, it was just work.
We made fast friends with one couple and they were constantly inviting us to do things with them, which we always accepted. There is a neighbor couple 2 doors down from me that I asked our friends if we could include because they didn't seem to socialize much. Our friends welcomed them and we all started doing things together.
In December our DD was very ill and in the ICU for a week. After that we were dealing with some very serious issues and it has been a difficult situation for DH and myself, and very time consuming.
In addition, DH and I socialize with other people in our community who share our religion. This is not the same religion as our friends or our 2 doors down neighbors, nor most of the neighbors in the surrounding homes. We do other things with those people, and do go out to dinner or have them over.
Neither our fast friends nor our 2 doors down neighbors were very supportive of the problems we were having with DD. We also got the feeling that they REALLY resented that we socialized with other people in the community and had friends OTHER THAN THEM. They stopped inviting us to do anything and essentially replaced us with 2 doors down neighbors, who don't have many other friends and didn't socialize with anybody else outside of a few limited activities (that they only participated in if fast friends were with them).
It has become very awkward with fast friends and even more so with 2 doors down neighbor. The straw that broke the camel's back for me today was today was "ladies day out", with a group of us going to lunch and then to the movies. Fast friend and 2 doors down neighbor were riding together and offered me a ride. Fast friend's car is small and I'd be squished in the backseat, so I said I'd drive myself. After the movie, I offered 2 doors down neighbor a ride and she DECLINED and said she was riding with Fast Friend. I was really taken aback by that, since Fast Friend would have to go out of her way to drive 2 Doors Down home, as opposed to her riding with me and being right there. It bothered me a lot.
Fast Friend texted and asked if we had plans Saturday, and we already did. This is the first time in a long time she's asked, so I figured 2 Doors Down was going out of town, and sure enough, at lunch I asked if she was going to be gone and she is for the next week.
I really don't like being the Red Headed Stepchild in this "friendship" and feel that I need to let both of these friends devolve into being just friendly and social, but not "friends" per se. I've been okay for a longggg time without a "best friend" and really don't need one. Fast Friend is extremely fond of DH, so I can't even B*tch to her about him
I know that Fast Friend and 2 Doors Down has a lot in common that they don't have with me (I don't like to go shopping or wandering around stores like Hobby Lobby or the Outlet mall). I'm glad they have each other, but I don't like the way they've treated me.Am I overreacting (of course, as DH says) or am I justified in feeling marginalized? (I brought up feelings of how the inlaws made me feel, which is what brought me here today(