My dad. A sad story.

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Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 5:48 am

My dad. A sad story.

Post by Myheartweeps » Sat Apr 04, 2020 4:14 pm

My dad and I have a difficult relationship. I suspect he has ASS related problems but he also has a difficult character. Always very negative, he is always sarcastic. He is not interested in my life or in my siblings life and work. He lacks social skills and he is not capable of relating to someone else's situation. Now the covid crisis came and of course he is very negative.
He thinks he is a vulnerable elder person. But he is 72 and in good health. So yes he is an elder person. But not vulnerable.
Vulnerable elder people get a phonecall here in my country from their family doctor whether they want to go to the IC or not. My mother's sister who is 80 and in bad health got such a call. And his reaction was: I am going to think about what do when the doctor calls ME.
Picture this: for two weeks we got elaborate messages via WhatsApp. First they would go in quarantine, next thing you get a picture of them walking in the woods. A neighbor offered to do the groceries and they accepted, next thing you hear is they do the groceries themselves, next thing you hear is my father goes in the car to his brother and together they go walking. All the time he apps, we are in social isolation, this is day X of our retraite, etc etc.
Meanwhile, my brother has 3 kids under 10 and he and his wife have a demanding job, my sister has to manage her team from home, and my husband and I are stuck in our city because we cannot use public transport.

So, our 'quarantined vulnerable elders' are the ones who have the most freedom, and all my father does is acting like he is the only one who is affected by this situation. He also has an anger issue and he got mad at my brothers wife on presence of his 5 year old daughter. Who came to drop something off. My mother, sister and I had to give my brother consolation.
I always keep my distance from my dad, and it breaks my heart it is now more necessary than ever because I need to take care of myself. My husband says it is my problem by the way. Anyway. Thanks for reading.

Edit: He lives with my mother I forgot to tell you

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Re: My dad. A sad story.

Post by Melody » Mon Apr 06, 2020 10:31 am

I hear you.

I'm in an area that has been hit hard. DH is an essential worker (and some of his coworkers have already tested positive). Although we're thankful for the income (my jobs are all on hold). My college kids are home and one is delivering groceries to the elderly. My younger kids are adjusting to virtual school (one not so well). We're nervous - 5/6 asthmatics as we know its only a matter of time.

SMIL (not elderly but pretends she is) has called multiple times bragging about how they have TOOOOOONNNNSS of groceries! (Good thing since she can't cook). FIL? He is in his 80's but has been going to the golf course. DH calls to yell at FIL for golfing and Stepmonster b*tches to DH that isn't he calling to talk to HEEEEEEEEERRRR?

DH is a former DUH and now recovering. But he got of the phone and even said to me, "Well thank you for asking how the kids and we are doing!" (She NEVER does!)

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