I hate making things for people

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miwako
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I hate making things for people

Post by miwako » Sat Aug 22, 2020 1:50 am

That is the biggest lesson I've learned during this whole Covid situation. I offered to make an online friend custom printed face masks in April, I didn't receive the materials they wanted to use until July, the first one I made didn't fit and I had to wait weeks to get their measurements so I could make one that does fit. In the meantime I've gone back to work, my chronic pain is flaring up, and I'm still not done. I hate this project and myself for volunteering. I hope I can get done before Covid is over and no one even needs them. I started working a little on it but my back was hurting and I stopped. I'm close to done, but with my job getting more labor intensive, I don't know when I'll be up to it.

jigglypuff
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Re: I hate making things for people

Post by jigglypuff » Tue Aug 25, 2020 4:17 pm

I think you should explain your situation to your online friend. Let them know that your chronic pain is slowing you down and it's been difficult.

Besides, masks are now available in many stores. They even sell some at dollar stores. I'm sure your friend can find some they can afford.

I hope your pain is better.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

miwako
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Re: I hate making things for people

Post by miwako » Tue Aug 25, 2020 5:16 pm

She has masks now, but had wanted ones with a particular character on them. Originally she was going to order some preexisting fabric from Spoonflower when I agreed to work on it, but then changed her mind and decided to commission an artist to make a different print. Then Spoonflower was backed up on custom printed fabric by 4 weeks. So already it was 2 months before I even got the fabric. Then it was the wrong amount of fabric, fat quarters instead of yards. I got some small ones completed, like she requested, but hers were the ones with the fitting issues. I feel bad sending her the ones for other people and saying "screw it" to hers.

I'm never volunteering for anything ever again! :lol:

I am doing somewhat better now, I had been working closing shifts and since we only have cleaners two days a week, it's been a lot more labor intensive. Fortunately I'm not doing too many of those again for a little while.

rubycrownedkinglet
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Re: I hate making things for people

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Thu Sep 03, 2020 4:13 pm

Miwako, I know how you feel. I want to volunteer for so many things and there are volunteer things I do every year to help people. However, sometimes I get overzealous or I just say yes to the wrong thing and I regret it. Then it's too late to back down.

One notable exception that I learned from: Last fall, my newSIL invited me to join her in a volunteer effort to make sleeping mats for the homeless. It was a project sponsored by a lady in her church and it sounded so easy. To knit together recycled plastic grocery bags into lightweight, easy to carry sleeping mats that could be used outdoors for those homeless people who will not go to shelters.

However, during the meeting and demonstration, it became totally apparent that it took something like 1000 bags to be folded just a certain way, then trimmed just a certain way. The pieces are then twisted and then literally with a knitting needle and just a certain stitch they are knitted together in an effort that would take an experienced knitter about a hundred hours...each.

As a never-knitter, I decided to try to learn. My 14 year old DNiece even helped me and we had a lovely time, laughing and making all the drunk spider web jokes, etc. Finally, although I felt an incredible amount of pressure after meeting everyone involved and being convinced of the value of the effort, after a week I returned the practice skein of yarn to my SIL and explained that I remembered why I'd never learned to knit as a kid. I hated it. Really hated it. I explained to her that I'd fold and trim the bags for the knitters, but I wouldn't be doing any knitting. SIL admitted to me that she would never have time to do it either and most of the others in the group had decided they would rather host a fundraiser to buy roll-up foam camping mats to donate.

So I made a cake for their bake sale. It felt good to be honest about my limitations, apologize and move on. My DN still asks if I've run into any drunk spiders lately.

I say just level with the online friend, apologize and tell her that by the time you had the materials and then the measurements, it was just too much for you. If I were her, I'd feel terrible that the effort was causing you anguish and pain and I would have told you not to worry about it anymore.

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