What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

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PutMILinherplace
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Location: South Carolina

What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by PutMILinherplace » Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:19 pm

So I know we are all inside due to the Coronavirus so I thought I would start a new thread for us to share stories. Just to get the conversation started here is one of mine:

Warning to all the men on this site: I am about to talk about a woman's monthly issue so you might want to stop reading this post if you are squeamish about it.

My MIL actually ridiculed me and called me LAZY because I can not use tampons. I kid you not. Now understand, this is an issue for most the women in my family. We are....shaped differently, not only does our bodies try to force the tampon out it is actually quite painful for us to use them.

So it came up when she asked if I was taking the kids swimming at her pool. I told her no that the kids and I were going to the playground and then on hike. Oh, that was NOT the right answer. She threw a fit, going on and on and on. Well she tried to "tell" on me to DH. He asked me why and I told him I had my period. Well that started the ,"well why cant you just put in a tampon?" argument. Now this was before I got a REAL shinny spine and would normally tell her because I darn well didnt want to . I told her why and of course she had to argue that I just wasn't using the right kind. Of COURSE she would know better then I or my doctor what I could use.

It finally ended with her yelling at my DH that I was just lazy, yes lazy for not wearing a tampon. Anytime I wouldnt take the children swimming she would make a snotty remark , "oh, yeah you CANT use tampons. I forgot." I would start yelling back over the fence when she had people over, "well I guess I could just menstruate in the pool but I have been raised where that is just disgusting. " I didnt know you could turn that red. :lol:

Melody
Nuclear
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by Melody » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:23 pm

My sister can't use them either. What a dumb thing to ridicule you for.

DH's stepmonster laughed because I had "zits" when I was pregnant. Yea, and? My child's health took priority over vanity. I had to bite my lip a bit because I didn't call her the "walking hemorrhoid" that she is.

After that I was really cautious (as all of you, my friends should be!). One time I had to pick my daughter up and my (much larger) car was needed. I said I didn't feel comfortable driving hers. After the sickening look of glee came over her face, I made sure to (exaggerate) that I've driven EVERY kind of vehicle and just didn't feel comfortable driving someone else's car.

I know you probably know this from being burned, but Guys NEVER EVER EVER belittle yourself in front of these women!

Hiddenjem
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by Hiddenjem » Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:12 pm

First, regarding tampons, I tried tampons one time.

I was 18 and bought super sized for a heavy period to match the flow as directed. I used them correctly. I only used them for a short amount of time. I believe it was only two days for a few hours. It was less than the box said to wear them. I didn't sleep in them.

Yet, I ended up with severe toxic shock syndrome soon after trying them. It was like having the flu. Then, I had the flu like symptoms again. My face swelled and I had a high temperature.

I nearly died. I was hospitalized for a week and they thought I was going to have a stroke or kidney failure. I wasn't expected to live.

As a result, my kidneys can't break down medicine so I have to avoid even taking Motrin.

Also, I can't ever use tampons again. If anyone reading this uses tampons, do not ever use the super sized ones. They absorb too much.

-----------------------

Also,

Mil has given me a hard time for the following and more;

not being exactly like her

having my own opinions

Not enjoying the same activities as she does

Not enjoying the same type of vacations as her (she likes cruises or staying with relatives as a "vacation." ). I like staying in a log cabin in the mountains or forest and knitting by the fire place.

Having her son fall in love with me and I am nothing like her (She thinks she is his wife.. :roll: )

having different taste buds and food preferences

not displaying pictures of her in our home

Not being willing to trust her enough to eat food that she was around that could of put cinnamon in to kill me with (spice allergy)

Not drinking coffee even though she likes it

Being able to cut my own hair (she hates that I am resourceful, kind to others, talented and good with crafts, knitting, sewing and I look and dress like a woman even when wearing my sports team casual clothes with my favorite team on it (not a Ohio college team) , and I am good with money.)

Oh, and his mom doesn't like that I root for a out of state college team verses her favorite in state team. 8) I even cheer on any team that is playing against Ohio college sports teams!

Yes, I believe that she is narcissist, evil, self centered and hateful.

-------------------------------

Also,

I have been busy for days organizing bedroom, packing up winter / fall clothes, closet, working on laundry, etc.

I walked two miles this evening.

Everything is closed here in Ohio except for the grocery and maybe the gas station.

We could of walked by his moms house and he could of called and check on her. He didn't. I didn't mention the option to him.

I appreciate her showing her true colors in front of Dh. He doesn't expect me to reach out to her, be a "daughter in law" to her etc. He knows that I won't be there for her as she ages with taking her to the doctor, picking her medicine or helping her with anything.

I loved the reaction of "good" Inlaw relative's to his mom at a recent funeral. I just avoided her. She followed Dh around and no one spoke to her. People asked me who she was and I pretended not know either. Mil didn't even like this relative when he was alive! His offspring and their offspring didn't even know who she was!

I just picked up youngest son at his job. The limitations on driving started at midnight here. People here are allowed to go drive to medical care, and buy groceries. Public parks are closed. Youngest son has to show a letter confirming he has a essential job and his work I d if I get pulled over driving him to work. I understand that you can get pulled over for just being out driving now and for at least 2 weeks.

Dh has a doctor appointment tomorrow. If the rule is the hospital is locked down, it is possible that the doctor office may be as well.
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

KeeperOfPrecious
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by KeeperOfPrecious » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:55 am

Unbelievable... I mean that’s such a personal issue. Wow, just wow. This is nitpicking at its finest. I can’t wrap my head around it and I get it all at the same time, they’re irrational lol


My husbands mother ridicules me just for breathing and we don’t even live near her. Her latest “upset” is over that damn rope of a birthday card she sent me. She sent this to me to toss the ball in my court and expected a response that would open dialogue. Im not willing to give her that.
My husband randomly asked me about it after enough time had gone by and when I wasn’t prepared for an accuse for not having replied to her. It caught me off guard since it had already been forgotten.
I told him that this is between his mother and me. He asked, “well, was it nice”? I told him that the card did exactly what it was intended. He dropped it and hasn’t brought it up again. He dropped it because he knew he was being placed in the middle. So far, I’m pretty happy with him, he didn’t press me over this. I am not happy with whatever “poor me” she’s now using as leverage.

Whatever... On to the next rope lol

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.

rubycrownedkinglet
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:57 am

Is it just me or does it seem like what we are ridiculed for is whatever we seem to be good at or smart for doing? Whatever way we are different from them?

My MIL ridiculed me when I lost about 45 pounds at the age of 28. She told me I wasn't eating enough and that her son, DH, was so skinny she was worried about his health. Mind you we were in the healthy range, but she was used to seeing us heavier and the rest of the family was extremely overweight.

Except for MIL, of course, who had been anorexic her whole life. She wasn't the kind of anorexic that kills you, just the kind that slowly eats away at all your tissues and bones until you can no longer walk or function. She was left as a skeleton of a person, who ridiculed me for "always dieting" and keeping off the weight for over 20 years following a healthy eating plan and limiting extreme foods. She tried to get me to admit I was underweight by challenging me to a weigh-in. She was shocked as can be when I took her up on it and that I weighed 20 pounds more than she did.

Ironic, huh? Despite her dire predictions of how DH and I would get so sick from being so skinny, 30 years later we are still alive and in good health. Of the rest of the family, the only one still alive is EBIL. He was the least healthy of them all, and is still extremely heavy. I'm sure he's just living on pure spite and meanness. :lol: :evil:

momjeans
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by momjeans » Thu Mar 26, 2020 11:08 am

Thankfully, MIL no longer attempts to backhandedly ridicule me because she knows I’ll put her in her place, but...

The one and only time she did, it was to ridicule me into taking the backseat to DH’s ex wife’s wants and needs (see: demands). She totally tried to play the First Wife card with me, though she’s like FIL’s fourth wife. :roll:
Boundaries ensure that the consequences of people’s actions land squarely on them.

WhyOhWhy
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Re: What has MIL ridiculed you for?

Post by WhyOhWhy » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:09 pm

What has my MIL ridiculed me for?! How much time do you have? 8)

She's found every opportunity to make fun of my weight, my career choices, every single flaw of my children (her so-called "beloved" grandchildren), my fear of poisonous critters, my direct nature (mainly because I don't tolerate any BS, which goes squarely against their insistence that people jump through hoops to please them), my country of origin (over, and over, and over again), my looks (which is funny, because she, her husband and other children aren't exactly raving beauties either)....the list goes on and on.

I've realized that it really all does come back to the fact that they don't like their authority questioned. They want to act as horribly as they want but no one else is allowed to have thoughts and feelings about things. That's BS, and I have been absolutely crystal clear that I feel that way. I'm more than willing to live peacefully and have a peaceful connection to them - from several states away and so long as they are polite, I can be polite as well.
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

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