She is back….

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Hiddenjem
Nuclear
Posts: 2426
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:06 am

She is back….

Post by Hiddenjem » Sun Jan 16, 2022 8:47 am

Dh’s female parent isn’t staying with his sister and now is our neighbor again.

Dh talked to her with his phone on speaker. I had to hear her voice. ::::Shudder::::: The feeling of peace is gone. Now, she is a short walk away from us again.

We were working on a home task when she called him. He stopped to go so a errand for her. He wasn’t in the mood to do the home task when he returned from doing the errand and dropping off her items to her. It wasn’t a urgent errand! She could of waited and Dh could of helped her today!

Why can’t see fall one of the other many relatives of here who are also walking distance away? No, it is always my husband for every single little thing? He even buys her adult diapers for her!

He asked me to invite her to go when I do errands or anytime I leave the house. I said no. Remember how she treats me and has always treated me! I am doing nothing for her.

He asked me to buy adult diapers for her!

I declined and reminded him that I told him when I married him to not ever expect for me to be a caregiver to his mom because of how poorly she treated me. He said he understood but he tests it sometimes.

When she passed away, I won’t help go through her hoarder home and won’t help throw things in a dumpster.

We were working on improving the basement and were making progress! She ruined his mood to get back to the project!

The sound of her voice on speaker phone was dreadful to hear yesterday!
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

Melody
Nuclear
Posts: 1759
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:28 pm

Re: She is back….

Post by Melody » Sun Jan 16, 2022 11:40 am

Between this and your last post, I hear you. I'm not sure how much that helps, but really, I hear you. DH's parents are from a "culture" that accepts drinking. And it is all out in the open. But they're still addicts - but the difference is, they don't accept that it IS a problem.

There's so much to unpack here. Remind me if DH has been to counseling, because really, he should be. RIGHT NOW. He needs an objective party so he can discuss how unhealthy his relationship is with his mother along with the values that have been instilled in him. Loyalty is great, but not to people that continually hurt you.

You need to speak with him, and possibly go to a marriage counseling (or a trauma counselor) session or two to discuss how he cannot continually be at MIL's beck and call for the unforeseeable future. And as for his asking you to buy her diapers. Remind him that unequivocally you have "Put up with enough of her SH*T".

((HUGS!!)) So sorry you are still dealing with this!

Hiddenjem
Nuclear
Posts: 2426
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:06 am

Re: She is back….

Post by Hiddenjem » Mon Jan 17, 2022 12:39 pm

Thank you Melody.
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

WhyOhWhy
Infuriated
Posts: 256
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: She is back….

Post by WhyOhWhy » Mon Jan 17, 2022 2:13 pm

Oh no! Is this post after the last one where she was leaving?! I'm so sorry :( Stick to your guns with your boundaries!
*** The North Remembers ***

Hiddenjem
Nuclear
Posts: 2426
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:06 am

Re: She is back….

Post by Hiddenjem » Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:45 pm

I will stick to my boundaries!

Thank you!
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

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