Any suggestions?

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Any suggestions?

Postby helpmesomeone » Fri Dec 26, 2014 7:32 am

I have been feeling sick since the beginning of december at the thought of seeing the ILs.
Background to situation, my DH parents split before he was born (FIL had affair and MIL kicked him into touch). He married woman he had affair with. MIL died when DH was 6 so he went to live with FIL. Relationship was abusive, children FIL had went on to have were showered with love and gifts, DH was not.
Did not believe the story at first, but it was indeed true.
We married and had family, FIL and MIL do not visit or call our children, yet every 2 weeks they pass our house to see both SILs children. They even come to our town, but never call in.
We always made the effort to visit them. Their house is a shrine to their other grandchildren, but they do not have one picture among their millions, of our children.
When we have been round, they have offered for us to join a "family holiday" and "christmas meals", they had them with SILs, but did not invite us in the end.
We have had them round on many occasions for meals, but they have never done the same.
When my son was born the step MIL said that you will never feel the same about children as you will about your own, my god has she done her best to represent this! on more than one occasion, my DH cousin has told us that the step MIL has been talking how my DH and we arent really family.
When my SIL divorced and very quickly moved in with another woman and had another baby, imagine our surprise when we last visited in january of a "family photo" of all family members, grandchildren new girlfriend parents etc, all but us.
I'm soo hurt! So decided this year to cut off. FIL has called twice this year and wants to see us once he has seen all his other family. I feel utterly sick at the prospect and have told DH about this. He still wants to see him and give the kids an opportunity to see their grandparents, but I think that it is bad for my kids.
Half of me wants to go, as Ive bought a photoframe for grandchildren to give them and see his face. But the other half of me says stay away, you'll only say something.
I have NEVER hated anyone before, but after 20 years of tolerance, I can totally and utterly say that I do hate them.
Any suggestions?
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