Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

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Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby 1Cor13 » Thu May 10, 2018 12:20 pm

Me and my DH have been married about 6 years and we have a little DD, we were together courting for a year prior, we had met online. Anyway I won't bore everyone with the whole story, so I'll try to make it really short.

DH's family has for some reason never accepted me, they would never meet me when I traveled from my state to DH's state. I literally left all I knew and my family behind to come here to stay so I could court my now DH.

The Inlaws which consist of a; MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL at the time me and DH courted did everything they possibly could to split us up from their little compound, they called DH's job, his Church, and those he knew to slander me and make me look crazy yet they were too good to even meet me, so technically they didn't even know me. Pretty much everyone around us that got to know me went from liking me, to no longer liking me because of this whole smear campaign. DH had to quit his job, and even his church, and let go of old friends that were all just spies. Luckily the Inlaws tactics failed and we got married without their blessing, funny enough they were sure to call DH though and tell him they didn't care if we consummated or not, they just wanted him to get it the marriage annulled.

Time went by and we all did eventually meet, they got to see the birth of DD through a c section. Our times together were a mixed bag, sometimes were good, others were bad. I can't say I was perfect when it came to the arguments, but I have never treated the Inlaws like they have me. I have only ever wanted to get to know them and love them even after all of the name calling and slandering. I bought them things to show them I cared, I spent thousands on them, none of it mattered much it seems.

Me and DH have had to go no contact numerous times because of how they have treated me since we have been married, they think it's okay to call me names and belittle me, and even ridicule my parenting in a bid to make them look superior some how. Like me they're supposed to be Christians, but they're not like me when it comes to living a Christian life, unlike them I will never resort to personal attacks. I went from being their doormat because they had my self esteem so low, to now I'm finally done with them, I will no longer let them hurt me. I am worth more than what they make me out to be.

Thankfully my DH has pretty much been done with them since we met in person and courted, they literally locked him out of his own home he was renting from them which was at the time beside of theirs, they told him to never come back as long as me and him were together. DH was smart though because he had a backup home just a couple minutes away that fully belonged to him alone.

We are planning on moving though, it's sad but I'm tired of when we go no contact the Inlaws drive past us to stalk us, they even send their flying monkeys to try and make contact again.

This time DH outright let them know, he won't be putting up with their name calling against me, he pretty much told them they are dead to him. DH has been through so much with the Inlaws that he's never wanted to be a part of their family, but because of stupid gullible me I have always tried to bring us all together, even when DH wanted nothing to do with them. The Inlaws were even told that if it wasn't for me they'd never see their son or their granddaughter, they said they understood, but then they'd go on to say I fed their son lies, I turned him against them, etc etc.

Last I talked to the Inlaws before DH deemed them dead to us, I had to listen to them for like 2hrs or more on the phone call me names, belittle me, call me crazy, etc etc. They tried their little pity them charade asking if this argument means they won't get to see DH and DD for Mothers Day, and the other Holidays, because we have been no contact numerous times before and it's usually like half of a year at a time. Well... Yup Inlaws this does mean no Mothers Day! I am finally done! I will no longer try to be the peacekeeper, I refuse to try to force my DH and DD over there in hopes of being one big happy family. I should have listened to DH when he warned me that they will never change, he said it's all just a facade that they still want to split us up and they will stop at nothing until they do. NEWSFLASH me and DH are in this for life, and that's why the Inlaws hate our marriage so bad because they know that.

The Inlaws have ruined every relationship DH has had before me, well they ain't ruining this one! I won't fight back and hurt them like they do me, I'm turning the other cheek while dusting my feet off and moving on.

GOODBYE, we are outta here, we will be going from just a couple mins down the road to a few hours away. One day they may wake up and realize what they missed out on, but then again I doubt it because they think I'm garbage, they only want DH and DD, and that's too bad because they will never have them.

Ps. I don't hate my Inlaws, but they are dead to me.
Adam & Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had to deal with in laws. :lol:
1Cor13
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby Melody » Thu May 10, 2018 1:53 pm

1Cor13 - Welcome!

And I will argue with you one one point - you ARE crazy! - But for putting up with that crap for so long! Your In-laws are seriously stupid.

((Hugs!!)) And happy mother's day!
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby 1Cor13 » Thu May 10, 2018 1:55 pm

That's what I say! Lol! I've definitely given them more chances than they've deserved, I doubt any other daughter in law would put up with this garbage for that long.

Happy Mothers Day!
Adam & Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had to deal with in laws. :lol:
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby IrishLass » Fri May 11, 2018 11:02 am

Narcs have got to narc. Without you and your DH, DD to have as a captive audience, the love bombing will begin. Your inlaws need to control you and your narrative.

You and DH are smart for seeing it (no matter how long it took) and for getting out now. Have a great mother’s day with your little family.
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby Yacky » Fri May 11, 2018 11:43 am

Welcome!

I constantly thank my lucky stars that we moved far away from the IL's (again - after moving closer to them in the hopes of trying to create a better family unit, which ended in complete disaster because they are just straight-out evil narcs).

It's unfortunate that such people waste so much time in life being so miserable, when they could be enjoying a nice, healthy and happy relationship with us, their sons and their grandchildren (when applicable). Instead, they focus so much negative energy on trying to tear our marriages apart (and if you read through this whole forum, you'll see it has actually succeeded in some cases, unfortunately - but of course the men bear a lot of the responsibility for allowing their wretched families affect their marriage).

If I had a nickel for all the times I did nice things for the IL's regardless of their awful treatment of me - well, I'd be a rich lady. I'm so sorry your attempts to get your IL's to try to accept and (gasp) love you didn't succeed. Clearly that is a fault of THEIRS, and not yours. Hang in there, and we'd all love to hear more. That's what we're all here for - to vent and support one another.
~~ Some people really need a great big high-five....to the face....with a baseball bat ~~
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby 1Cor13 » Fri May 11, 2018 11:59 am

Thank you all, I'm glad I feel understood here, but at the same time it sucks that y'all have had to endure the same sort of thing. It's so rare to see a married couple have decent in laws, I truly believe in laws are like the greatest threat to a marriage.

And I definitely believe my Inlaws are T total narcs, they hate my family for being that way yet they're just like them but in a different way. My family hates my DH, and his family hates me :roll: .So it's US against the world.

Ps. It's a shame to see anyone let these monsters tear their marriage apart, marriage should always come first.
Adam & Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had to deal with in laws. :lol:
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby KeeperOfPrecious » Sat May 12, 2018 1:05 pm

Welcome 1Cor13... you’re not alone, it’s the most draining feeling ever being cut down constantly. I experience it as well with the in laws. The latest in law I had the “pleasure” (insert sarcasm) of meeting even tried a new tactic. She decides to take an alt route and play a little psychological warfare with me with her questions. Luckily DH shot those down, but wow, do they ever resonate in the mind for a long time. They can emotionally suck the life out of you verbally or mentally. I’m so happy you’re able to move away, now you’re in a better place and can distance them, cut them off. No need to allow them into your home or anywhere near you.

I recently told another girl that” it definitely does seem like there was a mold created of the same MIL, only the “lucky” ones like us were unfortunate enough to receive ours when they dispersed them out all around this world”, hahaha. I’m so sorry for ya, but hey, you’re not alone. :D

Enjoy your Mother’s Day free of the load from the “others”, they’re not family, you know who your family are. Hugs from Texas too

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby 1Cor13 » Sun May 13, 2018 3:56 am

Thank you. Happy Mother's Day. :) let us all strive to remain positive on this day.
Adam & Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had to deal with in laws. :lol:
1Cor13
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Re: Yes this definitely means no Mothers Day for you!

Postby merlina » Mon May 14, 2018 4:10 am

Get out, stay out...have your own back by living well. To be of no consequence to you and your family will be exactly what they deserve. They brought it on themselves - so no backsliding this time. Be happy!
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