To the Poster of "Naughty Bride Episode One"

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To the Poster of "Naughty Bride Episode One"

Postby mamarama » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:53 pm

"Hi to my fellow tortured souls, I am back again… I mean…are we surprised?

Since we last spoke, I officially married into this fucking mess of a family painting. I survived the wedding, no one set fire to the bride…so if we’re trying to be grateful, I have that to work with.

If anyone’s wondering if a wedding brings a family together: THAT’S A FAT FUCKING NOPE (in all languages). If we try to find a metaphor for this situation, marrying officially into a family that hates you…it’s comparable to tying a piece of dogshit to yourself forever. You can hide the shit away in your handbag, but it’s still there lingering. It never really leaves. Just when you start to enjoy yourself, the smell starts to remind you it’s there.

Speaking of faeces, that’s unquestionably how I feel about my mother-in-law’s brain… I truly believe it’s softer than a fresh dog shit on a rainy day. "

So, let me get this straight. You chose to marry into a family that you knew hated you. You married a man that you knew wouldn't stick up for you and tolerates his family's poor treatment of you. You were naïve enough to think that marrying into this situation would change anything for the better, and now you expect people to feel sorry for you? Nope. Honey, you did this one to yourself and it's nobody's fault but yours that you're in the situation you're in. You were not tricked into this. You were not fooled. You were not duped. They didn't hide their crazy from you only for you to discover it after it was too late, like many of us here had happen to us. All of these people, your H included, showed you exactly who they are and what you'd be getting yourself into, yet you chose to put yourself in this position. You CHOSE the life you have. You're right though; you did tie dog shit to yourself, and you did it with both eyes wide open. You knew it was shit when you tied it to yourself, and now you complain that your life stinks.

I suggest you start making better choices, starting with seeing a marriage counselor with your husband and doubling down on birth control. You think things are bad now? Just wait until you have a baby...
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Re: To the Poster of "Naughty Bride Episode One"

Postby Hiddenjem » Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:06 pm

I see this from a different angle.

I noticed some people seem to ask for advice here and on the home board but they really are just venting. They may not be ready to listen to any advice. Also, it can be tricky to follow the advice of others. The advice can be skipping steps such the confusing details of how to make the changes. It can be overwhelming. It would be easier to go along with wedding plans verses calling it off for example.

"I told you so" just shames the person. We are screw up in life. Hopefully, we learn from it and then it is a learning experience.


My message to the original poster

It was brave of you to share the outcome of getting married to your significant other. I agree that getting pregnant won't help the situation you are in if you want to leave him.

I wish you well. We all make mistakes and you did what felt right to you. Please forgive yourself for being human.

Also, original poster, I read your post on the home page and it gave me strength and motivation to follow through on helping someone out in a situation. It is draining and heart wrenching. I may or may not be able to help this person but I will not give up on them. Thank you for inspiring me not to give up on them just yet.

Have you ever considered starting a blog? I think that you are very funny! I think that you could help many women from what you learn on your journey!

Thanks for the update! I wish you well!
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
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Re: To the Poster of "Naughty Bride Episode One"

Postby jigglypuff » Fri Apr 05, 2019 12:35 am

You were naïve enough to think that marrying into this situation would change anything for the better

I think this is exactly what happened. I think it happens to most people though. They somehow think things will change after the marriage and when it doesn't, they are sorely disappointed and realize they're now stuck with the consequence of their choice.

HG is right though, the poster is venting. Now she's stuck with these miserable fools and she just has to let it out. I hope she does take your advice and seek counseling and considers having children very carefully. Oh if I only knew then what I know now!
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'
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Re: To the Poster of "Naughty Bride Episode One"

Postby rubycrownedkinglet » Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:00 am

I think there are many reasons that one's love for the potential husband or wife can outweigh the bad fit of their family. Although it sounds like Naughty Bride knew what she was getting into, I'm not shocked that she said "yes" anyway.

I knew my ILs were backwards, slow and easily agitated. Their morals were suspect and their actions were beyond questionable. I really believed, with my limited 20 years of experience, that they would grow up in time and be tolerable. Well, we all know how that turned out. The biggest difference for me is that they seemed to be okay with me and they absolutely adored my DH. Also, DH was wise to them and in almost every case chose me, so it was ok, though strange, for a long time.

Would I marry again into that family? Yes I would. I love my DH and I would not have left him over them. Would I make different choices? Yes. I'd have stop enabling them much sooner and I would have let my DH set the pace for contact many years earlier. He would have let them go sooner than I would have.

Naughty Bride, I'm glad you know what's coming. Hopefully your DH will get on board and keep the ILs in their place.
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