Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

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Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby KeeperOfPrecious » Fri May 10, 2019 8:58 am

Hahah, at least that’s what this coming Sunday, Mother’s Day is for my DH’s mother.

The best she will get is that obligatory phone call. Of course, she will turn that call into the biggest, most special call she received from her precious boy since she won’t be getting any cards or flowers to show off.

It sucks to sit here and not completely look forward to Mother’s Day, only because of the MIL head space that can’t be avoided at this time. I will enjoy chatting with all our kiddos, but the dark cloud that looms is the fact there needs to be some sort of acknowledgement toward her from my DH. It’s like a little build up to get that call over with.

I will enjoy the fact that this coming day has a little sour taste for her. She knows that she has made my DH unhappy with the situation she and I are in. So I guess my gift to her is that elephant in their conversations lol

What are your MIL’s expecting, and what are they going to receive?

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Melody » Fri May 10, 2019 9:33 am

Ha! This forum has been a little quiet recently, I was waiting for this! I JUST looked through our banking info to see how much DH wasted on Stepmonster. I was hoping he forgot, but at least he had the good sense not to turn it into the ordeal he had a few years ago in the past. He'd also make a huge deal to the kids about cards for (insert ethnic name for grandmother here) which he constantly mispronounces on purpose, lol. (He's actually unusually good at pronouncing people's names - from hearing it to reading it - no matter what their ethnicity).

Thankfully it wasn't that much - just a completely thoughtless assortment of nuts (as he pointed out that she is) and berries from the same place every single time. And I think he does it just he doesn't have to deal with his father yelling at him.

But yes there will be that mandatory phone call that he'll force the kids on with their useless NASTY b*tchma that will put me in a bad mood for a while. But then we can forget about her (hopefully) for the next few months.

And it is an annoying dark cloud! I've been able to undo a lot of her training, but DH still calls her "his mother', even though she didn't come into the picture until he was five. DH and his brother moved in with their father and the b*tch when they were 12. I've heard enough stories about how she "cared" by yelling at them about how to clean the house and dropping them off at the laundry mat to do the family laundry. WTF was she doing? Probably getting high like she still does! Some "mother".
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby KeeperOfPrecious » Fri May 10, 2019 9:50 am

Melody~
Haha I know how it feels to see your profile name still hanging at the last post. It makes me cringe a little lol. I wanted to help the last poster for a week now hahah :D

I understand about checking the account. I don’t want one single penny going toward someone for her horrible behavior.

Your DH has a great sense of humor hahaha I love it. If my DH got the MIL Shrew some nuts and said it was fitting, much like, “you are what you eat”, I’d let him spend all kinds of money on that lol..

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby livingmylifeforme » Fri May 10, 2019 10:01 pm

KeeperOfPrecious and Melody: I’m so glad that your MILs are getting the bare minimum. Haha, Melody I love that he gets her nuts because that’s what he says she is :lol: :lol: I hope you guys can enjoy a nice Mother’s Day with your kiddos and barely even hearing your MILs’ voices.

I don’t know what my MIL expects on Mother’s Day but she’s getting nothing. Honestly, the only reason my MIL got a Mother’s Day gift or even card from my DH after he moved out is because I reminded him to get her one. Heck, that was true for any gift giving holiday, even her birthday.

Well now, she isn’t getting anything from him. She has two other sons and their wives so she’ll be fine.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Melody » Sat May 11, 2019 3:01 pm

Hmm. I got a Mother's Day card from Stepmonster - AND she spelled my name correctly (second time since my b-day, but not for 16 years before this). I just put it in the shredder. You've read the history, Is there a way to interpret this in ANY other way than she's fishing for a gift? That or its an attempt to get DH to see how much she and FIL "care"?
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby KeeperOfPrecious » Sat May 11, 2019 4:17 pm

Melody ~

Oh my Goodness!! I would have to think she’s throwing the ball in your court. Yep, sounds like she’s “showing” everyone how sweet she is, and that you can’t be unhappy with her when she *cares* so much. Do you think she expects a response? Does your DH think you should thank her?

I would hate that position. If my MIL was smart, she would do the same thing to me. That would personally get me all twisted out of order and she knows it.

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Melody » Sat May 11, 2019 4:46 pm

My bad, I tossed it in the shredder and believe DH didn't see it. I used to send Stepmonster lovely expensive and thoughtful gifts for every stupid occasion. After zero acknowledgement (and CRAP unequal treatment of my kids), and occasional month late cards with my name BUTCHERED despite it being the same as her beloved niece's, I don't give a crap what she "expects". I'm certainly not going to thank her for a lousy card. That ship sailed.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Nevermore » Sat May 11, 2019 9:19 pm

Yes, Melody, this is a fishing expedition. Sounds like it's going to be a futile one at that. Of course, she can always bitch and moan later that you didn't even thank her for that "lovely card". That should be worth something to her after she worked SO hard to buy it at Walgreens and put it in the mailbox.
My useless hag of a MIL never so much as sent me a card in 21 years. Even when we saw her on Mothers Day, she couldn't be bothered to wish me a happy one. She's not even getting a phone call this year. I got my own mom a very nice statue for her garden.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby livingmylifeforme » Sat May 11, 2019 10:41 pm

Melody: Yes, it sounds like she's fishing for a gift, or she's running out of thing to b**ch about so she's creating new things. The shredder :lol: :lol: Awesome!!

Nevermore: Good! I'm so sorry that she couldn't even be bothered to even say "Happy Mother's Day" to you. Well, I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day with your DH, children, and your own mother.

I'm spending the day with my own mother and grandmother. I'm not much of a card giver, but I got them gifts that I think they'll like.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Melody » Sun May 12, 2019 9:10 am

LOL! I HIGHLY recommend shredders! They can be cheap - $40 - for peace of mind. Shred your bills, especially bank and credit and ANYTHING with Identifying information. Even better - its really fun!

Thank you so much Keeper, Nevermore and Livingmylifeforme.

@Nevermore - You're so right - and really it was too much to just wish you well? It is a little tricky as in mother's day can be interpreted as in honoring your OWN mother. Although I personally was distraught when I made sure that granny (MIL1 for me) got a lot of handmade silly things from the kids and I (Single mother after her son ran off with a random bimbo) got nothing. MIL1 watched newborn and two year old (then 2 and 4) as I worked (I paid her), yet nothing. Really? Was the four year old so distracted by the TV she couldn't scribble something?

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the garden statue! What a cool gift!

@Liingmylifeforme - I briefly worked for the big card company. Cards? Who cares? (And P.S. like 75% of them end up in their shredder - not kidding!). Spending time is the best gift ever!
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby WhyOhWhy » Sun May 12, 2019 5:21 pm

Melody wrote:Hmm. I got a Mother's Day card from Stepmonster - AND she spelled my name correctly (second time since my b-day, but not for 16 years before this). I just put it in the shredder. You've read the history, Is there a way to interpret this in ANY other way than she's fishing for a gift? That or its an attempt to get DH to see how much she and FIL "care"?


Yup, absolutely 100%! One of our children has a birthday in April and the IL's are sure to call and be sugary sweet wishing our child a happy birthday, then insisting on speaking to everyone and spreading fake cheer. It's so obvious that it is a ploy to get us to do something nice for MIL on "her day". As it turned out, **I** was the one who ordered MIL's Mother's Day gift for her and **I** was the one to remind hubs to call her on the day (I ducked out so he could spend that precious time with his mommy). And before anyone says that I shouldn't be doing this stuff and should leave it to my hubs, I actually get pleasure from doing these things only to have her act passive-aggressively towards me on the day.

I come out looking thoughtful and caring, while she just ends up looking like a bitter old prune.

I got lots of love from the hubs and from my family and loved ones. My girlfriends and I had a lovely lunch today (just us moms!) and we raised a glass to the in-laws or other miserable folks who have no idea how to care or know the first thing about love. We swapped stories and laughed about these miserable bats.

The cranks are welcomed to continue to stew in their own juices. Can't you just imagine their miserable faces while we all laugh and enjoy our lives with people who care about us?!
I will not let them drag me down to their level again
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby Melody » Sun May 12, 2019 6:08 pm

Sorry to hog the thread! Why Oh Why that sounds divine! My older kids are at college (one messaged me multiple times today) so my hubs and kids took me to a dinner theater (DH LOOKS like a sports guy - but this is actually more his thing too). He dragged the kids over to the phone and then called stepmonster this morning. The call was on speaker and under five minutes (meanwhile this woman blabs about her self for HOURS).

And I will plagerize you - stepmonster was shivering and quivering, ROFLMAO! She bragged about how DH's brother was taking her to a (nothing special) diner for lunch. Meanwhile, her go to is picking a pricey place ordering an appetizer, expensive entree, desert and drinks and leaving the $400 to DH or BIL. Thanks bitch. My experience was indigestion and I guess our kids will not be taking swim/music lessons this quarter.

A year or two back she talked about how her neighbor brought her a breakfast burrito from McDonald's for M-Day (Yep no one wants to deal with her).

DH asked if she got her nuts and berries, and she said no. DH said it was supposed to be there Saturday then talked about how he was bringing me to the dinner theater. She faked a whole how delightful, but I could tell she was jealous as anything. :D

DH gets off the phone and says, "the diner is probably close to where BILs kids have their sports event". My YDS actually said, "I'm GLAD I'm not one of the favorite grandchildren! (Must have heard that from DH and not me!). That sounds SO much lamer than what we're doing!
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby livingmylifeforme » Mon May 13, 2019 12:15 pm

WhyOhWhy: That sounds like so much fun!! Getting together with other moms and swapping stories!

Melody: You’re not “hogging” anything. We love these stories around here :wink: What your YDS said is awesome!! Good, I’m glad she was jealous. She deserves to be after how she’s behaved. I hope you enjoyed your time :D Yeah, that’s what I thought anout the cards anyway. I honestly throw away cards that are from anyone other than my DH.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby KeeperOfPrecious » Tue May 14, 2019 8:31 am

Melody~ The paper shredder is one of the most therapeutic devices ever made lol. I love it!! I thought maybe your DH had known his SM had sent you a card. If my MIL had sent me one, she would have made sure EVERYONE knew. This way, she can remain the victim when I don’t acknowledge her super sweet, loving, thoughtful gesture, because she’s so abused by me lol :lol: But nope, she’s not sending jack any more. That ship has sailed for me, thankfully haha.

WhyOhWhy~ I like the way you think too. I remember in an old post, you mentioned how you’d like to be in the presence of the horrible IL’s. You show them that they don’t intimidate you, and you go about being so pleasant and happy because that rubs them the wrong way... or something to that affect, not remembering words you used. I like this because I know my MIL is so incredibly miserable in life. She’s so miserable, she wants me to feel it too, she’ll project. I know being happy and just ignoring her “poor me” attitude makes her even more spiteful.

My MIL is taking a trip up north to visit her FM bestie. Those two get together to refuel their ugly anger towards the rest of the family. Those two really have nobody, they only have each other. My MIL’s H doesn’t even travel with her, he’s looking forward to the 10 days of zero, old shrew baggage. They might conjure up a plan to see my DH. The FM is my DH’s A. He hasn’t spoken to his A in over a year. I’m willing to bet we get a FaceTime from those two. FMA has tried creating group texts in the past to get my DH to speak to her. She’s a malignant narcissist that will NOT BE IGNORED :lol: . She’ll try and trample over his NC and figure out a way to get him to speak to her while his M is there visiting. Those two, when they’re together, is nothing but super bad news.

The devil himself is impressed with her handiwork.
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Re: Mandatory Acknowledgement Day

Postby WhyOhWhy » Tue May 14, 2019 5:40 pm

KeeperOfPrecious wrote:WhyOhWhy~ I like the way you think too. I remember in an old post, you mentioned how you’d like to be in the presence of the horrible IL’s. You show them that they don’t intimidate you, and you go about being so pleasant and happy because that rubs them the wrong way...

My MIL is taking a trip up north to visit her FM bestie. Those two get together to refuel their ugly anger towards the rest of the family....She’s a malignant narcissist that will NOT BE IGNORED :lol:


Yes, exactly. See, I couldn't give two $#!T$ about them any more, and yet I know they can't STAND to have anything to do with me, hear my voice, see my face, etc. It drives them crazy whenever I open my mouth (and I am ALWAYS polite and respectful - even friendly). To see them get all hot under the collar gives me no end of enjoyment. Like your MIL, mine is a narc who will not be ignored, and it was more of a PITA to go NC than it was to actually be in contact. I simply changed my perspective on it and learned to laugh my butt off whenever they went into narc rage at simply hearing my voice. It really is funny and sad that I create such a problem by simply being alive and happy.

That's the thing, though: these people hate that we have the capacity to love and be happy, whereas they do not. Whenever they see our smiling faces, it shines a light on how miserable they are.
I will not let them drag me down to their level again
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