Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

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Mara
Fuming
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Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 2:03 pm

Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

Post by Mara » Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:00 pm

I’ve been NC with all IL’s for nearly 3 years now. It began with the PILs, who are completely evil. There are some decent aunts and cousins, but MIL was desperate to send messages to me anyway she could and started to use them. Their relationship wasn’t worth that, so I went NC with them too.

I’m not very active on social media, but I keep it to stay up to date with my extended family, sell locally, and there are some groups that have been very useful for me (such as a local community one). I honestly think how nice it would be to deactivate all my social media accounts, but I can’t go through with it.

Some of the IL’s are still my social media friends. We never interact, i’ve unfollowed them all and changed the privacy of my posts so they can’t see any of it. Things are okay as is, but I sometimes contemplate completely severing all ties and blocking them all. The only thing holding me back is WHAT IF EH (estranged husband) is given joint custody of the kids (we are currently going through divorce) and I want to see anything they post of my kids (especially since I am concerned for the kids’ well-being with EH and the PILs)? Or WHAT IF by some miracle our situation changes and I want to reestablish contact. It would be much more awkward after I block them all.

I am so close to blocking them all, but then I feel, just leave well-enough alone.

WhyOhWhy
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Re: Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

Post by WhyOhWhy » Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:32 pm

I'd keep them on your friend list but add them all onto a specific list (I named my list of flying monkeys and such "NO" so it's easy for me to find when I am selecting the audience for my posts) and then just add that list onto the bottom section where it says "EXCEPT these people or lists". Like you said, it's easy enough to keep them from looking at things you don't want them to see, but hard to back peddle from an unfriending if things change later on down the line.
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

jigglypuff
Nuclear
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:32 am

Re: Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

Post by jigglypuff » Tue Jul 23, 2019 12:22 am

Best thing I ever did was delete my social media and severing all ties with the ILs. I went under a fake name and kept that profile for years up until I decided to get rid of it altogether. Best thing I ever did and I have no desire to go back. Those I want to keep a connection with, I do through texts, phone calls and emails.

Now in your position, I would wait until this situation with EH blows over. You never know if you one day see something useful you can use in your case against him. You're already hidden from their feed so no problem there but I totally get your frustration. As long as you aren't connecting or sharing anything with these people, you're okay.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

PutMILinherplace
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Location: South Carolina

Re: Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

Post by PutMILinherplace » Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:45 pm

I understand. There are some family members & friends that I only have contact via social medial through. You are very wise to be thinking about the future. What is that old saying: Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

I would suggest some of the following:

1) be VERY careful what you post. There are always those who will screw up and talk

2) Make sure your security settings are ONLY FRIENDS can see & comment on any posts.

3) Set your security settings that you have to approve any and all posts made to your page as well as anything you are tagged on. Because rest assured some idiot will post something they shouldn't. My sister is a teacher and a friend of hers posted something that was racist and had bad language. Now while her settings were completely private, one of her fellow teachers saw it and went crying to the principal . (all's well. The principal knew the other idiot and gave my sister a pass). She is no longer a friend of my sister.

4) condense your social media stamp. In other words, pick only 2 or so places. For example: FB & Instagram only. Delete all other accounts. It will help you be able to keep up with stuff.

5) Consider setting up a fake account. That way they will think to stalk that one instead of your real one. Only put up happy things and blurry pics of the kids from behind, mommy memes, a pretty pic of a dog or flower at the park, etc. and disable anyone being able to comment on anything.

Hope that helps.

rubycrownedkinglet
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Re: Contemplating Blocking all IL’s on social media

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Sat Jul 27, 2019 11:42 am

I think a fake account would be good. Then they would think they are stalking you but they get zip. I can’t imagine how awful it would’ve been to have been stalked by my ILs. I took the most drastic steps just to avoid it by avoiding social media at all costs. Now that the worst of them are dead I am tempted from time to time to start an account.
Still the idea of the remaining ones peeking into my life is so disgusting to me.

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