So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

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miwako
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So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by miwako » Fri Sep 20, 2019 12:32 pm

SIL called us to let us know she's moving 3 hours away from us next month. My husband's happy, and I'm fine with her being close enough to see for holidays. That's not the problem. She's still not talking to her father until the family reunion next month, and asked us not to say anything to anyone in the family because she wants to announce it there. She's going to make this cross country move less than two weeks after this event, sooner if her husband's job lets him go after he puts in his notice.

I'm sure mentally ill FIL is going to react calmly and rationally when he sees his daughter for the first time in a year and she announces she's moving 2000 miles away in public in front of the whole family. Minus us of course, because if I was present there might be drama! :lol: :roll:

rubycrownedkinglet
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:21 pm

I wonder if your SIL expects him to be on his best behavior in front of everyone else. I wonder if she expects he will be unhappy about it. I think she'll get a couple snide remarks and some P/A guilt trips. "SO! You're just going to leave an old man all alone?"

The show was going to be awful anyway, but now...what drama! I'm happy for you that you are out of it, but really, can you PM me the details so I can go? Since I like the ILs I have now, my life is much less interesting. :wink:

jigglypuff
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by jigglypuff » Sun Sep 22, 2019 10:00 pm

That's gonna be fun. I'd be tempted to go with a tub of popcorn, sit back and watch but I'm glad you're out of the drama. Wonder how bad things will get on that fine day.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

livingmylifeforme
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by livingmylifeforme » Mon Sep 23, 2019 2:58 pm

I’m so happy you’re staying out of the drama, that’s always best! :D Please keep us updated.

WhyOhWhy
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by WhyOhWhy » Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:59 pm

It should be an interesting show. I wouldn't want to go, either, but would love to be a fly on the wall! When we mentioned we had decided to move several hours away, it got a very frosty reception (as though they were actually happy we lived anywhere near them - I mean what gave that away, their silent treatment and rudeness?). It's like, what did you all expect? Treat us like crap, make it clear you want very little to do with us, and then expect we'd want to stick around where we clearly are not wanted?
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

miwako
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by miwako » Tue Sep 24, 2019 8:56 pm

Ruby- I know you're bored, but it's not worth it! :lol:

SIL probably does expect him to be on his best behavior, but family gatherings have seen the worst of his behavior, not the best. He gets so hyper about impressing his family that when she tells everyone that I think he's going to flip and she's going to leave early. I'm so happy I'm not going, because if we were depending on her and her husband to drive us there, we'd all have to leave!

livingmylifeforme
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by livingmylifeforme » Wed Sep 25, 2019 10:58 am

WhyOhWhy wrote: It's like, what did you all expect? Treat us like crap, make it clear you want very little to do with us, and then expect we'd want to stick around where we clearly are not wanted?
Exactly this. Most if them do. They also play the victim if you do one little thing to offend them. It’s like, okay, I did like one thing to your 1,000,000 times of crappy treatment towards me. At a certain point, you just have to take your own mental health and sanity into consideration and put it above making crappy people happy with you. Especially if they make it clear no matter what you do, they’ll always treat you like crap.

jigglypuff
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by jigglypuff » Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:35 pm

Exactly this. Most if them do. They also play the victim if you do one little thing to offend them. It’s like, okay, I did like one thing to your 1,000,000 times of crappy treatment towards me. At a certain point, you just have to take your own mental health and sanity into consideration and put it above making crappy people happy with you. Especially if they make it clear no matter what you do, they’ll always treat you like crap.
This is 100% spot on.

This is something that toxic people do. You can't reason with them or make sense of it.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

miwako
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by miwako » Wed Oct 09, 2019 12:46 am

T-minus two days to the reunion, and my husband talked to his sister. FIL has been wanting to come to an agreement over what to do with MIL's ashes before he *also* moves out of California sometime in the next year, but SIL is still refusing to speak to him, or let him know she herself is moving too. She told him to tell FIL to mail the urn to us so that we could give it to her when she moves, but not to tell him that she's moving in the first place. He tried to explain to her that doing that would look like he was just demanding them unilaterally without the knowledge that she would be in the same part of the country as us.

I have no idea how SIL thinks she is going to spend a 3 day weekend with the whole family and completely avoid talking to her father, if she can't even handle talking to someone else about the possibility of talking to him for 20 minutes! I mean, I've tried to avoid him for much shorter time frames and it's never worked!

Also FIL called and got all weepy, asking him when we could come out to see him. Husband told him "We were planning to see you this weekend, but you uninvited us." FIL says "Oh, yeah. It's hard..." Morons. :lol:

WatchingMyBack
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by WatchingMyBack » Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:38 pm

What was the outcome?
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”

miwako
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by miwako » Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:41 am

No one has wanted to say much, so I imagine it wasn't good. Usually they gush about how fun it was, or at least complain about their own poor planning, like when they had too many people in the rental and SIL had to sleep in a barn with no heat. This time I asked how it went, and she told me "It was fine." :|

I'm dubious of that because of what she told my husband. SIL said that FIL was behaved "until the last day" but didn't specify what happened, and also that step-MIL was being a b*tch the whole time, and that it was probably a good thing we didn't go. Also no plans have been made for what to do with the MIL's urn, or at least nothing they've told me.

jigglypuff
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by jigglypuff » Wed Oct 23, 2019 2:15 pm

Sounds like the entire thing fell apart, muahaha! Please let us know when you find out the dirty details.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

desperate1
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by desperate1 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:21 am

There's probably a good reason she is handling it this way! But, it still sounds
like an SNL episode waiting to happen! :lol:
When people who are honestly mistaken learn the truth, they will either cease being mistaken, or cease being honest! : Anonymous

miwako
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Re: So Happy I'm Missing This S***show

Post by miwako » Sat Dec 21, 2019 9:54 am

I still don't have a lot of details, but SIL was surprised how little they did for Grandma. The whole point of this thing was having a memorial gathering for her, but according to SIL, all they did was make a toast to her, and then it was back to normal. Normal for them being loud, obnoxious and rude. She also said FIL attempted to sabotage her move, and dumped several boxed of pictures and keepsakes on her front door while she wasn't home just a few days before they were going to leave. I'm not 100% sure if that was the attempted sabotage, or if he did something else she didn't mention. In any case, he does not have her new address.

We're still not sure what's happening with MIL's ashes. My husband suggested sending them to a place that will compress them into diamonds, but that's incredibly expensive. SIL's idea was that since none of us could come up with a good place to spread her ashes, we should do the diamond idea, fly to Italy, then leave said diamond under a bridge that she saw in a movie. I don't think anyone has brought that idea up to FIL, because I'm sure he'd be mad if she expected him to pay $3000 for her to leave it in another country. :roll:

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