Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

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rubycrownedkinglet
Nuclear
Posts: 1998
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:20 am

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Sun Oct 13, 2019 1:59 pm

ILs are such a pain in the ass around the holidays! We stopped holidays with them all close to ten years before the PILs died. It was a sh!t show every single time.

It was such an ordeal that we would try to plan our once-per-year trip to visit around NOT a holiday. We finally arrived at an annual weekend visit between Mother's Day and Father's Day and we'd make a big deal over it.

Before that, when we would visit in October or February/March, it seemed like MIL created a holiday when we were there. In itself, that's not a bad thing, but when we had "Thanksgiving" in October or "Easter" in February then she wouldn't celebrate the holidays at the regular times, upsetting the ESIBs and everyone blamed us. We'd have been happier for the ESIBs not to be summoned for a faux holiday dinner or any dinner. We'd have been happier if they hadn't even known we were in town.

These days all of them are dead or so far away, we can relax. They don't know we moved and they don't know where. 8) My new ILs are a joy to have holidays with. My only complaint during our first holidays with them last year was that all the kids voted that they wanted us there to join in the dawn gift opening. It was early, but so fun. I still crack up looking at the pictures. There will be several littler grand nieces with us this year, so even better. Thank goodness, not all ILs are hate-worthy or hateful.

I don't miss the old ILs at all!

jigglypuff
Nuclear
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:32 am

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by jigglypuff » Mon Oct 14, 2019 1:17 pm

I'll never forget that one Thanksgiving when I had spent a few hours at MIL's house then told her we were leaving to my GM's place because she recently had open heart surgery. MIL's response was "Why did you have to have a family?". I thought she was joking but she was dead serious. I don't know why I tolerated their crap back then. I was young and dumb and thought they were nice people. They never bothered to ask how my GM was doing either.

That was when I pretty much stopped celebrating the holidays with the ILs over at MIL's house. MIL had come over to my place once or twice over the next few years but I never bothered inviting all the ILs over. The ESIBs were probably pissed about that but I don't care. I didn't want EBIL and his bitch wife there to piss on my holiday joy.

I'm not sure where TF and Xmas will be hosted this year but it might be at my Aunt's house. We might also celebrate with DH's co-workers/friends so that will be fun. I don't care what we do. I'm just happy we no longer have the ILs in our lives. That's reason enough to celebrate every single day of the year!
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

WhyOhWhy
Fuming
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by WhyOhWhy » Fri Oct 18, 2019 2:01 pm

jigglypuff wrote:I'll never forget that one Thanksgiving when I had spent a few hours at MIL's house then told her we were leaving to my GM's place because she recently had open heart surgery. MIL's response was "Why did you have to have a family?".

I don't care what we do. I'm just happy we no longer have the ILs in our lives. That's reason enough to celebrate every single day of the year!
That sounds about right! I mean, isn't everything in the world all about THEM? How DARE you have people who actually care about you in your own family!!??!!!

You know my situation, and I share a similar enjoyment of less interacting during the holidays. Talk about jolly and bright! 8)
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

miwako
Nuclear
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Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:11 am

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by miwako » Sat Oct 19, 2019 12:34 am

jigglypuff wrote:I'll never forget that one Thanksgiving when I had spent a few hours at MIL's house then told her we were leaving to my GM's place because she recently had open heart surgery. MIL's response was "Why did you have to have a family?". I thought she was joking but she was dead serious.
"Well you see, MIL, people don't spring out of the ground spontaneously. When a man loves a woman very much..." :lol: God, Ns ask the weirdest questions, don't they? My mother once asked me if she was dead, then told me not to be flip with her when I told her that she couldn't be if she was talking to me. Crazy!

Angeleyes2423
Annoyed
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 11:47 pm

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by Angeleyes2423 » Mon Oct 21, 2019 1:19 am

:? I don't really know how our holidays will go this year.
I am stressed just thinking about it, I would like to have an action plan so I can prepare myself. Me personally I would rather stay home this year and start my own traditions!!! It is my first year with my Son he is just 5 months old. My DH has 3 daughters... we will have 2 of the girls on Christmas eve and the youngest I take care of as my own WHEWWW what a mess lol.

Husband wants to go out and about he says holidays are meant to be shared with family.. I just assumed when we got married that me and the kids were his family

maybe i am just a humbug this year?

WhyOhWhy
Fuming
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: Time To Chat About Holiday Plans

Post by WhyOhWhy » Mon Oct 21, 2019 1:21 pm

Angeleyes2423 wrote::? I don't really know how our holidays will go this year.
I am stressed just thinking about it...Husband wants to go out and about he says holidays are meant to be shared with family.. I just assumed when we got married that me and the kids were his family. maybe i am just a humbug this year?
No, you aren't! You have every right to want to start your own traditions with your kids! Where you have little kids, I would insist that if other family members want to see you, that they can come to YOU. You could pick a time after all of your own presents have been opened (for example) to have people come over to exchange gifts and maybe have some tea and cakes (as it were). When we've done this in the past, we have had people come over around 11am, which gave us plenty of time to open gifts, play with new toys for a while, and then get dressed before guests arrived. I would serve a light lunch of Christmas Soup (I pick a different soup each year and throw everything into a croc pot the night before on low), some sliced crusty bread, and a salad (easy to throw together in about 10 minutes before guests arrive). I tell people they are welcomed to also bring a dish to share. Easy breezy, and I figure no one needs dessert since I always have bowls of candy and goodies around to pick at.

If no one can make that time, they could always coordinate with you privately to find a time to pop over for a quick 30 min gift exchange with you. If people don't want to come to you (either on the actual day, or within that following week), they obviously don't want to see you very badly. Also, exchanging holiday gifts and/or sharing a meal does not have to happen on the exact day. It is the spirit of the holiday that matters (in my opinion).

Stand firm! If you want your own traditions in your own home, fight for that! If your husband wants to drive around on his own, well he's welcomed to it! You shouldn't have to drag little ones all over hell's half acre just because he wants to go somewhere.
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

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