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Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 7:15 pm
by LongTermPatient
I’m 27 weeks pregnant and have been admitted to the hospital for pregnancy complications so I’m on strict bed rest. I’m seriously just trying to keep my baby alive and inside so that he has a chance at a good life. ILs have decided that now is the time to take out perceived slights in a passive aggressive manner- you know, the cold shoulder and all that. I need someone to talk to other than my family and my husband about it all. Looking forward to getting to know you all!

Re: Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:05 am
by Melody
Welcome LongTermPatient and congrats on your pregnancy! I know bed rest stinks, but its worthwhile. What an exciting time!

I know you must feel snubbed, but try to enjoy the cold shoulder treatment. They are leaving you the f alone when you should be able to relax. DO talk to your DH about keeping the IL's on an info diet. You don't need their kind of "help".

Hang in there!

Re: Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:20 pm
by WhyOhWhy
I agree with Melody: enjoy the peace and quiet from them while it lasts. I know what you really want and need is support. Do you have your own friends and family you can lean on for that? If your in-laws are so callous as to make your situation all about THEM and how this is somehow an affront against THEM, then you must realize that you really are better off with less contact with them, not more.

Take good care of yourself and your pregnancy (congrats!!). It is a sad day when we realize that our in-laws don't actually care about us but rather have an entirely different agenda and narrative against us. You really are better off riding this silence train for as long as you can.

Re: Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 7:36 am
by jigglypuff
Welcome! Sorry you're here dealing with those loser ILs. Something we understand all too well. And congrats on the pregnancy. Hope from here on out things go smoothly.

Sorry your ILs are being their natural douchebag selves. I know their behavior is hurtful and upsetting but it's actually a good thing. This way they don't bother you. It may not seem or feel that way and you wish they would be good ILs to you and the baby but that's just not who they are. They just want to destroy happy moments for you because they are petty shitheads. Don't let them rob you of your joy. You focus on being healthy and enjoying the family you're creating and what a blessing it is.

Re: Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:45 am
by Mara
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I pray you can make the most of this opportunity to relax before baby comes. The health of your baby is your biggest priority right now, please do not worry about what’s going on with the ILs. I know it is hurtful, but as others have said, this is probably a good thing that they are giving you some space.

This is a wonderful community to connect with people who understand your difficulties and can provide great feedback, advice, encouragement, and support. This group has helped me so much through my periods of crisis with toxic and abusive ILs.

Is this your first child? I wanted to share a quick anecdote about my second pregnancy. My husband and I moved two months before our second child was born. It was a new area, we were far from family, and didn’t know anyone. We were trying to figure out who could watch our first child when it was time to go to the hospital. MIL offered to stay with us so she could help. I knew the baby was ready to come because I was having contractions often and I was already dilated. She was at our house a week. MIL used her time at our home to stir up drama, be passive aggressive towards me, and even directly attack me over ridiculous crap. . The day after my due date is when she finally exploded and let out all her anger over the most absurd things.

MIL was being so cruel that she had me bawling. My membranes has been striped the day before (supposed to help induce labor) and I was having regular contractions, but the contractions completely stopped because of her behavior. My body knew it was not a safe environment to have a baby. My husband talked to her and told her it was time to leave. She left in the morning and I went into labor that night! I’m sure I would have had the baby a week earlier if she hadn’t been there.

Re: Hello. i’m Frustrated.

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:47 am
by rubycrownedkinglet
I'm agreed that you are so much better off without the ILs hovering over you at this wonderful but trying time. I would suggest to keep you occupied you take a look at the search feature of this board. You can type in a word like redneck or asshole or insane and see a bunch of threads that use that word. I will say that the above words may have so many hits that it may not narrow things down much. :wink:

This site has been around along time and there are shocking, sad, and just plain hysterically funny posts to explore. You can also click on any user's name and see and search their posts.

Stuck in bed in your situation, I would also invest in a good journal to help work out your feelings and some diversionary craft projects to keep your mind off the EILs. It's all about you and the baby now. Hopefully your DH is being supportive, but if he hasn't been, clearly tell him what you need now. He doesn't naturally know. Especially if this is your first, he is probably panicking and can end up turning to the ILs for support, inviting them to enmesh. Keep the lines of communication with him open, reminding him that you are both creating a little family of your own.

I'm thinking of you with best wishes for your LO.