MIL in Hospital & The Dog

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the_clearing
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MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by the_clearing » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:31 pm

Hi All,

Thought you'd enjoy a funny story. Being on this forum, I'm sure you know the definition of "funny" is : a situation that should be normal, has the most ridiculous outcome i.e the In-laws.

So, my MIL has a very dysfunctional relationship with her only son. There are many examples of outrageous behavior on her part, but her son is her son, and so we deal with it.

The weekend before last, she had a major car accident. She hurt her leg, and was in a difficult situation for a little while. It's been a week and a half, and things look better, she is speaking and eating, and it looks like she will make a full recovery. Great.

The Hospital spoke to her and said, "Love, you can't go home to an empty house (she lives alone - for reasons that people of this nature end up alone) and she will require assistance.
She mentioned to the hospital that she has a son. And yep, you guessed it, we get gifted her presence.

She has a little Jack Russell dog. It yaps all day, and escapes from the backyard all the time. Her brother (he is worse that her) has the sibling of the dog. And the 2 dogs are often together when the brother and his family take off for the weekend or holiday etc. My MIL always takes care of the dogs together in this situation.

Now, my MIL is in hospital, and will be for many weeks. Her son is going back and forth feeding the dog (at her house) and then going to the hospital, as well as working a full-time job. I work full time as well, and we do not have a backyard (this is all prior knowledge for all members of the family).

So we suggested to MIL, "why doesn't your brother take your dog to his place while you're in hospital?, it would help us out a lot, and the dogs love each other's company. You've done it many times" (at her house, and the brother has a backyard, obviously, he as a dog).

Instead of agreeing to accommodate her only son, that she can see is extending himself, as you would when your parent is in hospital. She said "oh no, my brother is going away on the 8 Dec (18 days time) so no, you need to feed him, and when his goes away, (he will be dumping...sorry) bringing his dog and leaving it in the backyard."

Summary: Her brother will be leaving his dog, and her dog, in a backyard that no one will be living at, I mean, she is in f**cking hospital. Get it.

Funny right????/

the_clearing
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by the_clearing » Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:31 am

Worked it out.

Found a family who is willing to be a foster career for the MILs dog. The Brother can take care of his own business.

WhyOhWhy
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by WhyOhWhy » Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:28 pm

Good for you! She said "You will have to take care of the dog..." umm, NO. You don't HAVE to do anything. And, in fact, you have every right to say "No, I'm sorry, that won't work for us". Learning how to say NO to pushy people like that is a very important skill to cultivate! Glad the dog situation sorted out, but for next time remember you aren't obligated to do anything, and she shouldn't just expect that you will!
I will not let them drag me down to their level again

jigglypuff
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by jigglypuff » Sat Nov 23, 2019 1:30 am

I feel sorry for those poor dogs. Her brother is going to leave his dog alone for days in the backyard? Who the heck is going to feed him? Isn't it cold out or do you guys live in a warm state? Just terrible. If I were you, I'd call the animal control on him if the dog is left without any care. One thing I cannot stand is animal abuse.

Toxic ILs are always the type who bring home pets, neglect them, then dump them on others. Same as they treat their own kids, smh.
'As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me'

PutMILinherplace
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Location: South Carolina

Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by PutMILinherplace » Sat Nov 23, 2019 10:41 am

My MIIL tried that please help my dog bs on me once. I knew what she was up to trying to get me to take the extra dog she had. Now we lived next door to her . She called me from work pretending to be all upset, "Oh, I forgot to get water for the dog PLEASE go help"

Now understand I dont like seeing animals mistreated in anyway. However, this was a play from my MIL to dump the care for her dogs on me. She had been trying for awhile. Never mind the fact I had 2 small kids and was homeschooling, why I had nothing to do all day so of course I could help take care of her dogs...and pool ( story in itself for another time.) This was something I could never make an exception for. Give her an inch, she takes a 100 miles.

I told her, "well then that poor dog will go without water. I bet you will remember next time." She was aghast that I would let the dog suffer in SC triple heat temps. She even had her son, who was a total DUH at the time call and try to get on my case. I told him then HE could drive the 45 min home and take care of the dog or better yet, since mummy only worked a 10 min drive from the house, she could take her lunch break to drive home, take care of the dog, drive back and still have plenty of time.

Oh, DuH tried to berate me and I let him have in no uncertain terms that we dont have a dog because I didnt want the responsibility but if he was going to bug me I would take the kids to the shelter THAT DAY and let them pick out the dog THEY want. He poo pooed that idea because he didnt want to deal with dog poop all over the yard.

And she did come home and get water for the dog. I was outside with the kids on their swings and waved at her. Oh, she was soooo angry. She asked why I couldnt do it because I wasn't doing anything! I just smiled and sipped my coffee, "I was doing something. I am playing with my kids. Your dogs, your responsibility. We have already been through this" and I went back to my kids She stomped away but never pulled that with me again.

PutMILinherplace
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by PutMILinherplace » Sat Nov 23, 2019 10:43 am

jigglypuff wrote:
Sat Nov 23, 2019 1:30 am
I feel sorry for those poor dogs. Her brother is going to leave his dog alone for days in the backyard? Who the heck is going to feed him? Isn't it cold out or do you guys live in a warm state? Just terrible. If I were you, I'd call the animal control on him if the dog is left without any care. One thing I cannot stand is animal abuse.

Toxic ILs are always the type who bring home pets, neglect them, then dump them on others. Same as they treat their own kids, smh.
I would also call in an anonymous call to animal control.

Melody
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by Melody » Sat Nov 23, 2019 11:49 am

Also agree to call animal control and hopefully he goes someplace where he gets adopted by a family who actually cares.

@PutMILinHerPlace - totally understandable what you did, and I'm sorry it took DH so long to clue in. That was totally a manipulation move and your late MIL probably spent more time B*TCHING about you on the phone than it took to drive her l@zy @ss home to take care of HER dog. (And how many people have the luxury of only working 10 minutes from home?).

rubycrownedkinglet
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:37 pm

About your recovering MIL: Some people are just spirit suckers. There is no doubt they feel completely entitled to their family's and friends' efforts with no thought of ever reciprocating. Odd though that she didn't want to put her brother out at least until his trip. I'll bet he is the one that has always taken advantage of her. It's a vicious cycle and par for the course in some families. Is it toxic? Not until it is not fair or welcome.

I'm relieved MILs dog has a place to be but I do feel badly for the UIL's dog that will be left to fend for himself. Sad.

My ILs were horrible as pet owners. DH is scarred to this day by the process of letting him get a pet and get attached, only to come home from school and find the pet gone for good. It pooped in the yard? Bye bye.

I see how attached DH has become to our big chocolate sweetie we have now. I can imagine the rage he would feel after doing all the work he'd agreed to (feeding, picking up after, playing with a dog) then being told HE forgot to close the gate and the dog got out. LIE!! MIL took the dog to the dump and let it out after she stepped in poop in the yard that the dog made after DH had left for school.

DH overheard his parents fighting about it and MIL admitted the truth to FIL. FIL made her tell DH another lie that maybe she had left the gate open because DH was inconsolable with grief and guilt about the dog getting out. At least FIL had a conscience. DH liked to think that FIL looked for the dog to bring it home, but I doubt it.

Both ESIL and EBIL got a number of big tough looking dogs as puppies that they ended up selling or giving away because they were not trained, as if they were supposed to come that way. You can't expect to own a Labrador Retriever or a German Shepherd Dog and not put lots of effort into training. It was almost like they wanted pets to create an image, like a charm on a chain. A very loud charm on a chain in the yard and really living under the trailer, while being thrown scraps because they were never house trained and ESIL 'couldn't afford' dog food. Pot, beer and cigarettes were always in the budget. Soon a kind passerby or kind neighbor would offer them money for the dog and they'd take it. I can't tell you how much it all upset me.

A year before we cut them off ESIL got a couple of dogs she kept as inside dogs for the first time ever. They were tiny Chihuahuas, less than 5 pounds. I asked her how they were able to make it up and down the trailer steps to go in and out and she said they didn't. Problem solved, right?

willthetruthbetold
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Re: MIL in Hospital & The Dog

Post by willthetruthbetold » Mon Nov 25, 2019 6:33 am

Hello to the_clearing, and welcome!
I agree with the others about feeling bad for the dogs. Your MIL and BIL could do what many people do when they go on vacation- take their companion animals to a good boarding organization where they are safe and cared for. If your BIL can afford to go on vacation, he can afford to pay for such care. Another idea would be for him to go somewhere that he could take his dog -and your MIL's- with him. We didn't have much money when our kids were little and would go camping with our dog, who enjoyed the trip immensely. It didn't cost much to have a dog in the campgrounds. We would also have staycations, and return to our house and dog every night.
I'm sorry that you got stuck with your MIL. Maybe she should consider moving to an assistive residential facility that allows companion animals and you won't have to be burdened in the future.

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