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FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 6:34 am
by willthetruthbetold
FIL's birthday is coming up soon and he claims to be very close to 100. That's as fake as the rest of his life. According to documents and court records, FIL is in his very early 90s.

Here's the results of his 9 decades of living on this planet:

- Everyone hates him, including his special favored daughter, my Golden SIL. She only pays attention to him because she can't wait for him to die and she can take all his estate. She is waiting in the wings like a trap door spider.
- FIL has left a trail of angry, bitter people behind him who he has insulted or stolen from. Most people call him a mean person. Since he is a psychopath, he said that's how he wants to be remembered.
- He lies so much that no one believes him.
- He favored GSIL's kids, but they hate him, too. GSIL's DS, the Most Favored Grandchild, was given so much by FIL through his entire life, mostly to compete with my DS. If my son worked and bought a car, FIL would by D-Nephew a car. If my DS got into a good university, FIL paid tuition for an expensive buy-a-degree-college. When my DS bought a house, FIL sold his condo and the next day DN "bought" a condo with FIL's money. DN wasn't grateful. FIL is shocked that his Favorite Grandchild has never invited him over to the condo that he bought for him. FIL's excuse? "He's fixing it up so it will look real nice when I come over and he will have a big party for me." Yeah, right.
- FIL has at least three birth certificates, and over a dozen different names.
- FIL still can't read or write.
- FIL has no friends, despite the fact that he lives in a retirement center with hundreds of other people. They shut their doors when see him coming and no one wants to sit with him at group meals (this is before COVID-19 restrictions). FIL's closest acquaintance died (he lived in a different part of town) and FIL didn't know for many months because he wasn't that close to him and never called him. Would this even be considered a friend?
- FIL molested nice-SIL and I think impregnated her. She never said who the father of her baby was. It was MIL's behavior that said it all.
- FIL has never once said anything nice about DH, our DD or our DS. Or me either!
- FIL leaves behind people who still sting from nasty things that he's said to them. His favorite greeting to women is, "Ugh, it looks like you've gained weight." He told my DS that he'd never achieve anything, told my DH when he was little that he was probably gay, told me that I deserved to die when I was very close to death in the ICU, called MIL a bitch and feeble-minded in front of others, told our thin and athletic DD that she was fat in front of her friends... and so many thousands of other examples.
- FIL has never given a penny to charity.
- FIL has never volunteered for a cause or to help anyone.
- FIL has never acknowledged any of my DD's and DS's children, his great-grandchildren. He never picked up the phone to call them, didn't have a card or present sent or even pass on a message through GSIL or Nice-SIL. Yet he used to brag to the other people in his senior home that he has great-grandchildren who supposedly call him a nickname, one that he made up.
This is what happens when a FIL or any other IL leads an ugly, selfish life. At the end, there are no friends, relatives or even other residents who care. He's going to spend his fake birthday alone. It was his wish.

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 10:06 am
by Melody
Wow! Early 90's is still older than many many people live. And one wonders by what its fueled by. Maybe this explains it: ... -life.html

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 10:17 am
by rubycrownedkinglet
If someone who lies about their age for their whole life, what else would they lie about? Everything!

I would say it's a sad legacy he will leave behind someday, but in reality, it's just as he would want, the old sod. The interesting part is that his (would be) misery, which he figured out how to enjoy, has been foisted off onto so many others. Maybe that's how he learned to enjoy it.

Unfortunately there are so many of his ilk out there. Most of them end up bitter and alone, many years younger than your FIL. Their nasty personality isolates them from others, causing them to die from a host of diseases or addiction from self-medicating with food, alcohol or drugs.

It's the rare evil that can last that long. Psychopath, indeed.

ETA: Maybe the Daily Mail has a point, after all.

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 3:59 pm
by WhyOhWhy
I guess he's going to get his wish to spend his birthday alone. It does seem to be true that miserable people live forever, while "the good die young". There is another way to look at it as well, though! The miserable people will have to spend a longer amount of time living in such misery. It is a punishment of their own making, and I imagine a bit of a living hell if you think about it.

I like to think that such people have a longer amount of time to have it truly sink in that no one wants to be around them (and certainly not for sincere reasons) all thanks to their behaviors. I think they try to blame everyone else for that, but I really feel that on some level they know they are responsible for it.

I'd honestly rather die at 80, surrounded by all of the people who truly love me and with whom I have spent many long, happy years, than to live to be 100 but spend so many of those years alone, bitter and miserable.

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 7:25 pm
by PutMILinherplace
"Ugh, it looks like you've gained weight."
Ugh, it looks like you have gotten older...and uglier (say with a snicker)

Some years ago, MIL thought she would start something with me. She was mad about me not closing a gate. I told her to take it up with her son.

She said, "well it wouldnt hurt your fat azz to do it"

I immediately retorted, "At least I can loose weight. Nothing short of plastic surgery will help you."

Oh, what I wouldnt have given to have a picture of the shocked look on her face. What you need to know is this is more cruel then you can imagine. My MIL had very low self esteem due to her big nose and frankly ugly face (her daughter's words, not mine) But she was so shocked that I stood up to her that she avoided me every time she saw me.

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:53 am
by willthetruthbetold
Melody- That article makes a lot of sense. I know lots of people in the generation older than me who faded away soon after they retired. My father had two challenging and interesting careers, one after the other, and when he retired, he just didn't have the excitement that he had lived with so long. His health quickly went downhill and he didn't live much longer, unfortunately.
The article doesn't explain FIL's longevity because, typically, he goes against the grain of any trend. He didn't work long, retired early, ate food that wasn't healthful, had frightening blood test results (according to MIL) and didn't start exercising until he was in his late 70s. I attribute his longevity to these things:
- He never worked hard and his jobs weren't stressful
- He relieved any stress he had by being mean to others and enjoying it. In short, he didn't get stress, he gave it.
- MIL was obsessed with being thin, and insisted that FIL do the same. She would put him on severe diets that were essentially starvation rations two or three times a year. FIL definitely was forced to lose 10-15 pounds every year before they vacationed in our area and he would show up and say (after insulting us), how great he felt after being on a diet.
- He and MIL went out dancing every weekend, their only exercise.
- FIL drank a lot of coffee. Some research indicates that coffee has healthful effects on some people.
- FIL comes from a family who all live into their mid-90s.
- FIL mooched off of people his entire life. He didn't have to work hard. When he came home from work (or messing around), he would plop in front to the TV and sit there, open-mouthed, for hours, relaxing.
RubyCrownedKinglet- Yes, FIL got what he wanted. He uses his isolation as a means to elicit pity from the staff members. Last year, he told the staff that his family didn't contact him or do anything for his birthday, so they felt sorry for him and gave him a little party. It was a lie, because DH called him, GSIL and nice-SIL visited him, brought him gifts and took him out for lunch. Then he told DH the same lie as he told the staff.
WhyOhWhy- I agree, I'd rather have a shorter life spent with loved ones than 100 years in a nursing home with people who hate me. I'd rather leave a legacy of someone who loved their family and friends and tried to do good things in the world rather than what will be FIL's story when he dies, if anyone actually even cares.
PutMILInHerPlace: LOL! I wish I could think on my feet and give good and timely comebacks like that!

Re: FIL's fake birthday

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 1:20 pm
by PutMILinherplace
Yeah, my duh says I am the queen of comebacks. I tell him it's just the side effect of being raised in a family of grade A smartazzes. My mil didn't stand a chance. :D