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The next time you visit!

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:58 pm
by Melody
So as per my last post, we hadn't seen FIL and stepmonster for over a year and a half. It had been over three years since we went to the lair. So after an hour an a half visit the other week, DH's stepmonster says/screams this phrase it makes the acid churn in my stomach.

DH and I did a taping of a television segment over the summer. It just recently aired on national TV. While I was at work, stepmonster (who hasn't called me in over a year) leaves a message on the answering machine (yes we still have one) addressed to me. (I guess I suddenly exist?) "Melody! We taped the show and saw you guys! So the next time you visit you can watch yourself on TV!!!"

Maybe I'm overreacting, but WTF? WHY would we run to THEIR house to watch a recording?

Re: The next time you visit!

Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2020 2:21 pm
by livingmylifeforme
:lol: :lol:

First off, that’s so cool that you appeared on TV!

Of course you all of a sudden exist now that you made a TV appearance. No doubt to show off to her friends (if she even has any), and talk about how you two watched it together and how chummy you two are.

Just, no.

We know you’re not planning on going, so hopefully she doesn’t press. You can always say you already have a recording of it if she keeps bringing it up.

Re: The next time you visit!

Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:46 am
by Melody
Why thank you for that insight! That makes so much sense. As he was getting ready to drive to work, our friends/neighbors were out walking the dogs and DH told them that, "Sorry! I don't have time to sign autographs!". (They laughed).

I hadn't thought of it as being a big deal. I thought I acted like a deer in headlights but my husband was a theater major and is great in front of the camera. And I know this irrational but I'm slighty annoyed that stepmonster used this as an excuse to harass - I mean call me.

I deleted the message and plan to ignore it. Am I right? I feel like stepmonster is trying to use this as an opportunity to rug sweep and I'm worried DH might try to claim "she's trying!".

Re: The next time you visit!

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 12:19 am
by WhyOhWhy
Yup, she's trying to do a little bit of love bombing here. Ignore it, and I suspect in a couple of weeks her sudden good-natured attitude will turn rather sour when she realizes you didn't take the bait.

Re: The next time you visit!

Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2020 7:23 am
by Melody
Thank you WhyOhwhy! It is funny to me how clear it is when you say it so plainly. She can put on an act for say two times in a row when we see her and then - BAM! - she's back to Banshee B*tch. And DH used get lulled into it and to fall for it EVERY SINGLE TIME. At least while he occasionally backslides a little, he's finally over that hurdle.

Livingmylifeforme - you called it. Stepmonster does have "friends", but they are almost all her relatives. When DH and I were getting married, she insisted on inviting a bunch of people we didn't know, but not her brother's family (who it turns out we like). I actually have very little family myself (as in my four kids are half of it). Yet she had the nerve to cry to me how "You don't understand! I have NO family!"

And over the years, she's had an obscene number of long lost family pop out of the woodwork - half siblings, step siblings, cousins, second cousins, whatever a generation removed. DH didn't even know who half of these people were. Stepmonster would have an intense relationship with them for a while, then a major blow out, never to be spoken of again.

When I mentioned to DH about the "NO relatives" comment and how it was kind of hurtful to me (since I - for real - I have so little family.), he told me that I didn't understand. "She has NO family that still talks to her! She burns EVERY bridge!"

Oh, and as for the incentive of the taped program? The show is now readily available, for free on Youtube, lol!