New Reason to Hate MIL

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Melody
Nuclear
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Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:28 pm

New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by Melody » Sun Nov 22, 2020 1:44 pm

BIL invited us to what he told us would be a small (it was NOT and much to my horror there was no social distancing despite being told their would be, but that's a story for another time) get together to celebrate a milestone in his family.

When we got there, unexpectedly, fil and stepmonster were there. I managed to avoid them for most of the evening, but DH talked to him. After sometime I got suckered into, um I mean drawn into, the conversation. Before this conversation, I had told DH numerous times that the one if the few things that was OK about his parents were that they were not racists or bigots.

Well I was wrong.

Stepmonster used to work customer service (hard to believe I know!), and started complaining about "those people". Meanwhile, I happen to be of the same ethnic decent as "those people". She complained about how "those people" do not have their marriages legally recognized so that they can can have a big household and not pay for services. DH was immediately like, WTF? And said to her WTF? Like they chose to be in the situation and live with hardship so that they can "get away" with paying less on one bill?

This coming out of the mouth of a b*tch who has been charged with felonies for ACTUAL stealing.

Somehow, after all these years, I was stunned at this idiot's comment and only thought of things to say (rather than punching her in the face) after we left.

DH pissed me off even more when he talked to my YDD, who had wisely chosen to stay home, that stepmonster asked if my daughter, who is very crafty, could make HER something. DH didn't want to discuss the fact that while stepmonster is cheap as f, she ALWAYS has her hand out. I wanted to make it clear to my daughter that she was under NO obligation to do anything for her. (This kind of touches on another recent post about making handmade items). Ugh!!

Obviously, I'm talking about different people here. But really, THOSE PEOPLE! UGHH!

moved2maryland
Infuriated
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Location: Beltsville, MD

Re: New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by moved2maryland » Sun Nov 22, 2020 10:40 pm

It's not like you need a new reason, it's just that she keeps giving you MORE reasons.

It would probably be a waste of air to call her on it but when someone is using slurs against your ethnicity, IMO she is saying them to you.

In future, assume that BIL is lying to you and that FIL and MIL will be there and stay home.
Just remember,to argue with an a@@ will make you one.

WhyOhWhy
Fuming
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Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by WhyOhWhy » Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:16 pm

I agree with M2M: when the in-laws criticize others with similar attributes as you, they are criticizing YOU. Mine do it all the time with weight and national origin. The funniest part is, people like this think that their opinion matters and that anyone cares about their narrow-minded views. If you look around, only the sheeple in their circle agree (or at least pretend to agree). The rest often squirm uncomfortably in their seats (in my experience).

I often say nothing (I won't dignify such ignorance with a response or reaction of any kind) and remind myself that I won't have to deal with these people again for some weeks or months.
*** The North Remembers ***

PutMILinherplace
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Location: South Carolina

Re: New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by PutMILinherplace » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:25 pm

Practice in front of mirror. Get down the look. Get a look of pity, "oh you poor thing how stupid you are," Get that smile down and a slight nod of your head back and forth with a tsk tsk. Look at them with such a condescending smile. Start doing that EVERYTIME they say something.
You cant set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

WhyOhWhy
Fuming
Posts: 237
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by WhyOhWhy » Sat Nov 28, 2020 4:25 pm

PutMILinherplace wrote:
Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:25 pm
Practice in front of mirror. Get down the look. Get a look of pity, "oh you poor thing how stupid you are," Get that smile down and a slight nod of your head back and forth with a tsk tsk. Look at them with such a condescending smile. Start doing that EVERYTIME they say something.
PERFECT!!!
*** The North Remembers ***

Melody
Nuclear
Posts: 1722
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:28 pm

Re: New Reason to Hate MIL

Post by Melody » Sun Nov 29, 2020 12:40 pm

Thank you for the insight and great suggestions. Its hard to think clearly when I'm so annoyed!

@Moved2Maryland - so true. DH claims his parents, "aren't like that", but apparently, they are. DH is pissed at his brother, so I THINK he won't get suckered again like this. But he still seems to be giving his paaaarents a free pass. :roll:

@WhyOhWhy - Truly! It may have been this forum where someone had mentioned letting MIL know in essence that her opinion is merely "Cute/quaint" and not of any consequence. As in, "How cute! You think your opinion matters!". That just might "accidentally" come out of my mouth one of these days.

@PutMILinHerPlace - That is spot on! There is nothing this woman hates more than looking stupid. DH has told me she's afraid of me, and all I did was keep asking her questions until she was proverbially backed in a corner with no answers.

I wasn't that involved in the conversation, and DH already started pulling her arguments apart, but in a way that she had to think, not in a way that she was caught saying something stupid.

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