Engagement party

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Engagement party

Post by Marie2019 » Mon Mar 08, 2021 9:30 am

Cut a long story short my inlaws have been very horrible, disrespect and talked horrible things about me to my fiancé since our first daughter had been born (shes now 2yrs old) because they haven't gotten their own way with our dd.
Its been 6 months since our daughter and myself have seen MIL and FIL, my fiancé has seen them only a couple of times in 6 months.
They have been invited to our engagement party. Did I want them to be invited? No! But I did it for my fiancè, if they stuff up again they will be cut from our lives my fiancé has said so himself, so now how can I piss them off so much at our engagement party that make them f##k up so they can be gone for good?!
(The party is a dinner at a club) with my parents, my siblings and their children and my step mother and step father and a few of my fiancés friends and his brothers.....

Look even if I dont get rid of them for good this time help me think of ways to really piss them off without my fiancé knowing
1 week to go i need to get rid of these toxic people!
Last edited by Marie2019 on Sat Mar 13, 2021 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How can I piss off inlaws at engagement party

Post by Melody » Tue Mar 09, 2021 7:04 pm

Welcome Marie!

The evil part of me says show the IL's a "mock up" of your wedding invite that says something like Marie's Father and Mother proudly announce the upcoming wedding of daughter Marie and Fiance. I would imagine that they might be horrified to be outdone.

While I understand your pain (I tried very hard to get along with DH's stepmonster and the BEST I've been able to do is VLC), you probably need to let karma take its course. Don't send out negative vibes as they could damage your relationship.

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Re: How can I piss off inlaws at engagement party

Post by WhyOhWhy » Tue Mar 09, 2021 10:05 pm

I have to agree with Melody: let karma take its course. If they are that horrible, they'll mess up on their own. Now, the one piece of advice I CAN give to sort of...encourage...them to show their true colors is actually to be overly sweet and happy. Yup, it's really that simple with horrible people. And I mean pour it on really thick...

(OH, and DO remember to be very lovey-dovey with your fiance!! Don't be super GROSS about the PDA, of course, keep it classy, but feel free to hold his hand a lot, put your hand on his back gently, kiss sweetly regularly, look at him VERY adoringly the entire night, laugh at all of his jokes (no matter how small they are), etc.)
Here are some examples of how you could kill them with kindness:

"Here (insert name), we've put your seats RIGHT up near ours since you are honored guests!" (they'll hate being so close to you, I promise - oh, and if either of them struts like a peacock in their nice seats, just smile sweetly at them and let them have their moment. This is, after all, your chance to show what an amazing person you are and just how lucky their son is to have you.)

"Oh (insert name), you look SO lovely/handsome today! It's really delightful to see you!"
(they will cringe inside - it will drive them crazy that you're being so sweet)

"Do you need anything else?! I want to be sure you have everything you need and that you are enjoying yourself!"

and finally...and make this one REALLY over the top....

"Thank you SO much for coming!! It was really and truly SUCH a delight to see you!! Drive carefully home!!!" (big smile on your face, of course)

Look, over the years I have tried everything, I promise you. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, irritates the in-laws like me being perfectly sweet and delightful. They HATE seeing us happy, and they hate it even more if they are trying to be passive-aggressive to me and I don't acknowledge that and instead I'm as sweet as pie. Seeing my husband and I deliriously happy after all these years continues to be the best "revenge" possible on them. Their faces literally redden and they scowl the moment they see it. As a result, they don't enjoy seeing our faces or hearing our voices very much these days. I just CAN'T imagine why! 8)

Being happy with one another and not letting their bullshit make you upset (or at least never let it SHOW) really is THE best revenge. Take it from a 20+ year veteran of this little thrilling adventure called In-Laws.
*** The North Remembers ***

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Re: How can I piss off inlaws at engagement party

Post by Marie2019 » Wed Mar 10, 2021 5:43 am

I love it :D
How ever the one where says they will hate being so close they'll deal with it because they are overly obsessed with our daughter and they'll want to be holding and touching her aallllllllll night but its not going to happen however they will have some sort of contact with her.... which I hate but anyway :(

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Re: How can I piss off inlaws at engagement party

Post by PutMILinherplace » Wed Mar 10, 2021 1:12 pm

I agree with the above. Dont purposely do anything or it will make you look bad.

Get one of your buddies who is quick with sarcasm, comebacks etc that takes no crap. Make sure they are sitting right next to them or across the table. If they say anything remotely ...crabby your friend can go, "Im sorry, what did you say? What did you mean by that because I KNOW you couldn't possibly mean it like you made it sound."

You should also say the above and call them out .every. single. time.
You cant set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

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