Overstaying Mother in Law

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Overstaying Mother in Law

Post by EllieZ » Sat Apr 24, 2021 12:03 pm

Hello friends.
I'm Ellie and I'm having a problem with my mother in law.
Four years ago she undergone surgery and chemotherapies for breast cancer and two years ago she had a kidney removal.
At her first surgery, I wasn't married with my husband yet, but I was so much involved in her situation. I was their to take care of her at the hospital, I helped my now husband take care of her at her house with her wounds, I was driving and support her to her chemotherapies and etc. Of course, I was doing everything from my heart because I love her too and I was also trying to be supportive to my husband.
After her second surgery, eventhough her older son lives with her, we offered her to come for her 2-week recovery and live with us (we were already married for almost a year), so she could have proper care and don't mind being alone when my brother in law wasn't there.
At the time we had only one room ready for residency and we had to sleep on our couches during her stay and offer her our bedroom. That's when our problems started. She was so cosy here and felt taken care of that the two weeks became two months, because she was always telling us that she wasn't feeling healthy enough again, eventhough her doctors suggested otherwise.
My problem now is that 14 days ago, she came to live with us again, because her older son tested positive for Covid-19, despite me being 8 months pregnant and at very vulnerable position of getting Covid from her, if she had it. Thankfully, we got tested negative, but now she refuses to return at her place, until her son's test gets negative (we'll probably know the results on Monday). Note that: a. she doesn't believe in Covid-19 pandemic and b. the first 3 days of her recent stay, we had to sleep again on our couches, because we were preparing the baby's nursery (something that we stopped doing for now) and put a bed in for her, because we couldn't stay anymore on our couches.
How do you believe that I should handle the situation? I can't take it any more. She is all day seated on the couch and refuses to go even for a walk (something that she used to do) and I'm feeling drained from her.
P.S. I'm sorry for the long post.

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Re: Overstaying Mother in Law

Post by miwako » Tue Apr 27, 2021 12:12 am

Let her know that the baby could come any time and since you only have two rooms, she will be the one sharing it with the infant. It will not be the cushy vacation it was the last time.

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Re: Overstaying Mother in Law

Post by Melody » Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:39 pm

I like what Miwako said, although I'm concerned that she might try to use that as an excuse to stay and hlep.

Have a chat with your DH about telling her to leave. I'm assuming and hoping he's on the same page as you. If not, that's a bigger problem.

He needs to "remind" her that you are pregnant and need to get rest - (GTFU MIL)
You need YOUR bed - (GTFU MIL).
Don't believe in the pandemic? GREAT! No reason to stay! GTFU MIL!

And make it uncomfortable and tell her to start doing things.

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Re: Overstaying Mother in Law

Post by CantstandmyILs » Fri Apr 30, 2021 11:39 pm

Oh no well I hope her other son tested neg and fast esp being close to given birth. I am only 6 months pregnant so I still have a while to start prepping LO crib.
I would havw a discussion with DH like listen it's been 2 weeks baby is almost here. MIL got to go so we can finish setting up. IDK about you but girl all I do is clean. Serious nesting happening here. lol
I hope it works out cause you don't need an extra headache esp being pregnant.

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