When a New Golden joins the family

Talk about anything and everything not related to the in-laws

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PeanutGallery
Annoyed
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2016 7:53 pm

Re: When a New Golden joins the family

Post by PeanutGallery » Fri Sep 09, 2016 8:42 pm

WatchingMyBack wrote: In yesterday's mail, the long awaited Thank You arrived (shower was June 5th). I figure it is because their baby is due in a week. The note, which didn't say "Dear Aunt XX" or even my name at all, said "Bumbed you didn't make the shower. It was great. Thanks for the gifts." Unsigned. Only took 90 days for this couldn't be less personal acknowledgement to arrive. Any additional gift I send will be addressed to nephew or the baby herself.

Okay, I can see this situation much more clearly now. Her note that she sent you on June 5th was kind of indifferent and rude. At the same, it could just be the way you're perceiving it. Even though you're right and valid about your experience, I still can't ignore the twinge of rigidity and expectation you have towards your nephew's bride, only her, to meet certain unspoken standards experience that I had with my in laws. You just claimed that you don't expect or want anything from her but it seems like you do. Just saying.

Hiddenjem
Nuclear
Posts: 2321
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:06 am

Re: When a New Golden joins the family

Post by Hiddenjem » Sat Sep 10, 2016 11:37 am

Feelings are valid even if someone else can't relate to why another person feels the way they do.
Last edited by Hiddenjem on Sat Sep 10, 2016 7:27 pm, edited 6 times in total.
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

miwako
Nuclear
Posts: 1099
Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:11 am

Re: When a New Golden joins the family

Post by miwako » Sat Sep 10, 2016 2:27 pm

After reading WMB's other post about reactions to gifts she's sent, I'm starting to understand her feelings a little better. This is obviously a sore point for her, and I feel it's less about the niece's behavior and more about it being similar to previous hurtful experiences.

Dropping the rope is still the best option in my opinion. Whatever the reason for the niece's behavior, from simple disorganization to outright maliciousness, it seems that simply not sending gifts and not expecting anything is the way to go. If she's just a scatter brain, hating her won't change that, and if she's nasty on purpose, being upset is what she wants.

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