I Hate My Inlaws!

Welcome to I Hate My InLaws!

In-laws, and the quarrels they start, have been the subject of stories for many years. This is your opportunity to sound off about your own in-laws! Tell the world the story, or stories, of your in-laws. We're looking for the funny ones, the sad ones, the crazy ones, and every story in-between.

So what are you waiting for? Tell us why you HATE YOUR IN-LAWS!!! and read why others hate their in-laws.

If you would like others to reply with advice regarding your in-law situation or if you would like to give advice to those requesting it, please visit our In-Laws Forums.

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The Chicago Cousin

Posted on Thu, May. 28, 2020 at 03:41 am

Your cousin (my DH) is approaching 50 this year. You’ve always boasted how successful and beautiful you are. Your mommy thinks you’re something special too. Although you’re only one year younger than my husband, you make it out to be that he’s wayyyy tolder lol.

I’m a year older than my husband. I’m not as financially successful as you. You have pointed out that my lack of education puts me in this “trailer park” status. Well guess what, I’d rather be older, broke and destitute than to be you. You’re broken and bitter.

Being 50 while happily married is nothing compared to approaching 50 while single. In a funny, crazy way, it almost feels like we are actually younger than you lol

Female, 50 and single makes you a spinster. Kinda makes you less worthy of marriage and of course children are totally out of the question.

So you just keep mocking us if it makes you feel better about all the things you do not, nor will ever have,

October approaches faster and faster with every year...

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Just Admit It!

Posted on Sun, May. 24, 2020 at 01:52 pm

The both of you are deeply miserable people and should have divorced when your kids were teenagers.

Because stuff was already very, very wrong between you two way back then.

You have made sure your youngest (DH) has been made to suffer because you fools screwed him up.

His sibling is a dick, more like you than DH ever was/is.

You just can’t admit you manipulate and stir until you get what you want, and when you don’t! God help those you have your sights on.

The mere sight of you makes me heave. Toxic, hateful and hate filled sad saps who need to admit to themselves what horrible liars and trouble makers you truly are.

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The web of lies we weaved for a bit of peace

Posted on Sun, May. 24, 2020 at 06:36 am

My first baby was due any day. I didn’t want Narcissist Drama Queen MIL anywhere near me when I was in labour or after the birth. DH and my dearest SIL understood, so we hatched a plan. (MIL never listens to anyone and would be waiting outside demanding to get in). MIL calls DH at least twice a day now for a ‘baby update’ and will turn up at our house uninvited, so.....

Day 1 -my labour: MIL called DH - he lied and told her we were at my mum’s in the day and then a friend’s bbq. ( I delivered that evening with my mum and DH in attendance).
Day 2: DH stayed over at my mums. When MIL called and said “I went to your home and you not in “ DH said we crashed at the friends because it was really late. He then told her we would be going shopping so won’t be back until later. On que SIL calls MIL with tickets for tomorrow night for a tribute band for MIL and FIL. MIL is very excited and calls me to brag about the tickets forgetting to even ask me if I’m in labour yet (yay!)

Day 3: I am now at home. No word from MIL as she is having her hair and nails done for her evening out. She calls at around 4pm (luckily our baby girl is asleep). I lie.

Day 4: I’m wondering if we can string this out until the end of the week ( or until the kid is 18) but DH says we’re pushing our luck and we have to tell her soon so we can tell all our friends and other family. So he calls MIL.

The woman appeared at our door within 18 minutes of DH ending the call (I timed it). Moaning that SHE wasn’t informed I was in labour, that my mum saw the baby first and SHE didn’t get to break the news to her relatives. (We asked SIL to do it).

At this point we haven’t mentioned what day DD was born. We still haven’t. She can’t remember anyone’s birthday but her own (narcissist, remember) and has to be reminded each year.

10 years on and as predicted she is a fake Grandmother, only putting on the role when it suits her. There is no love lost between her and my kids (FIL divorced MIL a few years ago and remarried a lovely lady this year) and we only get the occasional calls from her moaning how nobody pays her any attention.

Karma is bitch and right now my life is great!

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Please

Posted on Fri, May. 22, 2020 at 11:44 pm

If I hear my mil or her entitled sister tell me one more time how someone "thought they were in their forties" I am gonna shoot myself in the face!!! Yeah you look like you are in your forties my ass! You can do all you want to your faces you still look old!!

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If it didn't happen to them, it didn't happen

Posted on Fri, May. 22, 2020 at 10:53 pm

My father recently passed away from a long, absolutely horrendous battle caused by dementia. It was the saddest thing I have ever experienced in my life.To have to watch the person u love so much endure that still makes me sick to my stomach. I had people I barely knew show me more sympathy and kindness than my husband's family. After my father passed NOBODY, NOT A SINGLE PERSON from his family even gave me a hug and said "I'm sorry", sent flowers, a card (his mother did show up to the viewing out of obligation. I will get to that in a sec she should have just stayed her ass at home)...yeah they didn't even acknowledge it. I cannot understand how a decent person could ignore something like that. His mother decided to tell me at the viewing how much her son and her were going through because his father/her husband's health. No offense but ARE U FUCKING SERIOUS!!??? Let me get this straight..this asshole decides for the ten fucking minutes she is there that it was all about her. She couldn't even force herself to keep her stupid ass comments to herself and behave in a dignified manner. You can't make this shit up! Last I checked it was my father laying there in the casket and your husband who was fine didn't even bother to show up at the viewing because he was "practicing" (he plays in a band). I mean damn, she could have said something ELSE as to why he wasn't there or how about NOTHING AT ALL!! Nice to know how unimportant my family is. She still (along with the other narcissists related to her) has not to this day EVER told me that she was sorry, hugged me or asked how I am doing/dealing with what happened. My gut has never felt right/comfortable around them. This is a perfect example of why u should keep in laws at a damn distance. I am now completely void of any feelings for them. If they go through shit they can all comfort each other. Now when my husband tells me his mommy wants to see us I don't have to make up any excuses. Maybe I should thank them all for exposing their scales as the cold reptiles they are. Yep and these are the same people sitting up in church every Sunday! Don't expect anything from me cause it's a wrap!!!!!

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Relentless

Posted on Fri, May. 22, 2020 at 03:48 pm

I dont even need to write a story... bullet points are enough.
1.put up my wedding pictures of all the family but picked every single photo without me in them.
2. Sent me no bday gift during lockdown but send gifts to dh non stop.
3. Call Dh 100 times a day to ask if hes ok and well! Just if hes ok...
3. Only ring me when he dont pick up
4. Last year when hubby was ill and I was rushing around after him they would send food... just for hubby not any extra for me or dd.
5. Father in law makes up lies about me. When dh had an argument with his sister in law over text . Father in law told everyone that it was me sending the texts... enough said, bullet points are clearly not enough.

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Nightmare for all.

Posted on Wed, May. 20, 2020 at 10:23 pm

My husband and I have been together for 3 years and married for seven months. My mother in law is a helicopter parent and grandparent. My DH was married briefly to a woman he met as a soldier (ie he was a meal ticket). He her because she became pregnant the night they met and he wasn’t willing to have a child he didn’t know fending for herself etc. We’re also fairly conservative and catholic, so the guilt got the best of him. ;) after a deployment and his mother and wife’s refusal to allow him to re-enlist he moved his little family from where he was based down south to his parents home in the northern Midwest. He and his wife and their little girl lived with his two parents and two brothers for another year or so before his wife stole his car and ran off with their baby. He was already a huge disappointment for having gotten a woman he didn’t know pregnant before marriage, and soon to become the first person in their family to divorce. His maternal grandparents helped pay for the divorce and mommy dearest was a big help in the custody case with testimony of spousal abuse from the wife, and her years of experience as a stay at home mom and part time nursery school teacher etc which aided in DH winning Primary custody. (It was also very helpful that wife is a pathological liar with borderline personality traits and a hefty dose of narcissism.)
DH and his little girl spent three or four years at his parents and ex-wife stayed down south to start another family and to take their daughter for about 10 weeks a year spread out over the course of the year. As DH and little lived with his parents mommy dearest assumed the role of “mother” which was to undermine almost every single parenting decision DH or ex-wife ever tried to make together, or apart. The family HATED ex-wife at that point.
Years go by and DH tolerates his mother’s imposition on his parenting abilities because it was easier to comply and he needed the help as a single dad. Eventually we met, and started something. I was a relatively successful and financially stable single mother of two with a single family home of my own, a car and gainful employment as well as a very tight knit family - though I have never relied on my family for financial help, babysitting help etc. As things progressed, while little was down south with ex-wife my DH introduced me to his parents and spent the summer with me and my kids as our relationship blossomed. When Little came home we introduced the kids and things progressed naturally. My daughter and Little have the same birthday (off by one year), and became inseparable immediately. Eventually we all shared the home I owned prior to my relationship with DH. I never had an opportunity to become close with his mother. We have literally nothing in common. I was raised by my mother, who was a single mother of four, who worked and overcame the statistic that she would be relatively destitute without a man to help. And then I lead an eerily similar life with my two kids and my career. Mommy dearest was skeptical, judgmental and frankly pretty rude when I was around her. I kept my distance but was always polite and patient. Our first “family” Christmas my two children and I were omitted from the guest list for one of the family gatherings - though we were all living together in my home, the parents and grandparents asked that just my DH (then BF) and his little attend. Admittedly I was offended. I had opened my home, my daughter had sacrificed her privacy by sharing a room with Little, I provided as much if not more to Little financially than ex-wife and my own family accepted DH and Little as family right away without question. At a larger family christmas on DH’s side of the family within a day or two of the private affair, mommy dearest came up to me with having had a little too much wine and slurred on and on about how she raised Little, how DH was “absent” (he worked as a security guard for a state building... his hours were odd and it’s been said that she was constantly “offering” to take Little, etc) and how she was the only person who could ever know Little because of their “bond”.
Fast forward, eventually DH and I became engaged and expectant. Mommy dearest continued to care for Little exclusively after school until one of us was off work to get her. My son was a student at the nursery school where she worked (absolutely zero “family discount” - it’s relevant later) and our girls were thick as thieves with unavoidable “sister” moments here and there but by all accounts very close. Everything should have been cause for celebration. Shortly before our wedding we announced the pregnancy to our families. My family was thrilled. His family was rude. On our wedding day my family paid for everything (I’m the bride - traditionally it’s expected but they never offered anything whatsoever) and mommy dearest couldn’t even bring herself to smile for the photographer. (We had 22 people at our wedding including ourselves and our three children. She was unavoidable and subsequently extremely visible as the mother of the groom...)
After the wedding things were challenging for Little as the household dynamic continued to evolve. My kids were fine but the Little was struggling with being a sibling, one of three, and not the center of attention anymore. She had gone from being one child with five adults living in a home to being a middle child of three with only two adults in the home, and every day after school her grandma, mommy dearest, was manipulating Little into emotional meltdowns over the “abandonment” of her by her mother down south, and the “rapid change” etc. Some of which I agree was a change and needed attention. We got Little into therapy where she was empowered to see things with a more positive approach as opposed to being in a victim mentality, and the abandonment thing disappeared once she realized she had no memories of her parents being together - and that every day after school she was being fed bogus memories to cling to by her grandmother. The woman that hated the ex wife to start with. The grandmother operates at her highest level by coddling, babying, consoling and emotionally manipulating a girl of 5-7 years old... that’s when she feels the most validated and did so on a very regular basis. When DH confronted her, or asked her to stop facilitating excessive or unnecessary communication with ex wife outside of their custody agreement because of the obvious negative affect on the child, mommy dearest would disregard and continue to undermine him, as she always had while he was in her home.
Meanwhile I continued to grow in size as our little baby grew inside. MIL offered a baby shower which I felt obligated to agree to. The more I thought about it the less I wanted to have her host. She was rude, as was her elderly mother at the news of the baby. She asked for Little to be overly involved but didn’t include my other children (at the time a very well established pattern we asked to break repeatedly) and seemed to have no interest in my guests and asked me to limit my invites so she could have her friends and family attend. I literally only have a handful of girlfriends (5 at most) a mom and two sisters... Eventually I wrote to her and asked her to stop planning. I blamed arrangements with my ex and anxiety as obstacles but in reality I was pissed she was excluding my children, mainly my *other* daughter (as at this point Little was very much my daughter as well) and the fact that they had been so rude at the wedding and upon hearing news of the pending arrival. MIL also always had a tendency of making everything center squarely around Little and it disrupted our entire family dynamic, fed Little’s unhealthy expectations for constant entertainment/attention (she was resentful when she wasn’t being treated as the center of the universe and it was literally not possible to maintain that in our home) and constantly made the other children feel grossly inadequate.
Once baby was due, I informed DH I didn’t want visitors at the hospital. The pregnancy had been long and I was in the middle of a difficult patch with Little who was journaling that she hated me, hated my children and wanted to live with her Mimi and papa (MIL/FIL) consistently. She was also very very emotional and though her mother (ex-wife) and I had tried to be friendly, once DH made her aware he intended to marry me she got hostile and insisted that I would never be acknowledged etc and impressed onto Little very adamantly that she would be Littles **only** mother - as impossible as that is from 3000 miles away and 3/12 months a year max.
Baby was born and I was pressured into having MIL and FIL at the hospital the day he was here. They also insisted they take all three older kids for the night, which turned into “for the weekend” though my family was ready and willing to take them.
I did not take maternity leave. I had worked from home/“in the field” the entire pregnancy with a start up biomedical company and wasn’t offered leave. I had our baby on a Friday early morning, and went “back to work” the following Monday. Entirely from home, but still.
Since the arrival of the new baby, I was attacked for not posting enough photos of Little. A week before the girls shared bday I shared a fb “memory” of my daughter from when she was four, mentioning i couldn’t believe she would be 9 this year. The family was in uproar that I would share a photo of my biological daughter, of whom I have photos of when she was four, the week of the girls bday and not post a photo of Little to offset the unfair social media exposure regardless of the fact that many time I have posted photos of Little solo in praise or celebration of her for whatever it may have been. As a matter of fact, any time I posted a photo of one of my biological children any distant or immediate relative may take liberty to post a photo of Little in the comments of the photo and did on several occasions with a caption about Little-solo.
Eventually, I felt attacked and removed the family from my social media as a way to set a boundary for myself. The demand that the attention be on one of now FOUR children incessantly was affecting too much.
As a result, I was promptly attacked by DH’s elderly maternal grandmother via email. The emails went back and forth between DH and his grandma. I emailed ONE long explanation of how I treat the children as individuals, but with equal and fair attention, and never once mentioned my feelings of rejection, my feelings of rejection toward my children, the baby announcement reaction, the wedding sourpuss, the fact that MIL called me to tell me to quit my job so I can make time to be a better mother (true story) etc. Simply that I love all of the kids the same. That DH and I love each other and that we would stop at nothing to make sure everyone was happy and healthy in our blended family.
The email was ignored but six weeks later another email, this time specifically attacking me for MANY things, over the course of MANY occasions came through. Quarantine was well underway at this point and I had already accepted the validation of my feelings of rejection. I had turned to facilitating distance learning, working from home, and nurturing my relationship with Little without any interruptions or impositions as comfort. With a 9 year old girl, 8 year old girl (sometimes referees to as “the Regina George’s”), 4 year old boy, newborn boy, my husband and 6-8 weeks Little and I turned our relationship around ENTIRELY. No negativity from MIL, constant healthy communication and a few parenting/mental health books that Little and I went through together and we have an amazing relationship that is so fulfilling. She is a new child with happy days, resilience and no interest in prolonged pity parties she used to be victim of. She and I packed a care package for her mother down south and sent it for Mother’s Day, etc. (I didn’t sign or add anything as I’m still not allowed to “exist”...)
With the submittal of a rambling manifesto Of hate directed specifically at me, DH finally said enough was enough and he wouldn’t continue to engage in anything anymore.
Come to find out after hating the ex wife for so long, his mother has been teaming up with her to interfere with my relationship with Little and since the grandma-removal (mil) she was no longer able to continue to pressure Little into being the victim of unfortunate circumstance. Little and her mother speak on ft twice a day and message on average 30+ times a day. It’s safe to say the most damning influence was the MIL.
Since the ugly emails, DH and I have gone to therapy and read a number of books on how to try to set better boundaries for MIL. it was decided that we would write some boundaries that only he would communicate with his parents. They have been demanding to see Little for weeks (without ever asking about it acknowledging our now new son since he was born three months ago) but with her progress it didn’t feel it would be best for her, and everyone else in our home to be put right back into what we feel is a toxic environment. We specifically built boundaries around grandparents leaving parenting to dad (DH) and enjoying being grandparents. Essentially simplifying their role for Little and for themselves to the point where it should be easy and fun for everyone.
The response was blame, insults, and refusal. DH said those were the boundaries plain and simple, which sparked a threat to seek legal action against him.

Long story short my in laws are insane. Little is happy and healthier than ever. Literally. Her emotional and mental state is incredible. Her ability to recover from her resentment with communication and safe, healthy reassurance has been awe inspiring. I’m so proud of her. And I’m so proud to be her mother. I love my husband, and all four of our children. But I f’ing hate his family.

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Anniversary..no. 60

Posted on Wed, May. 20, 2020 at 03:13 am

They celebrate their 60th anniversary..are you kiddin' me..with whom? 4 adult kids, no grandkids..nothing ..and why..because queen bee mil thinks her kids have to serve her emotional needs..well now they are old..those “kids“ and ailing, too. Ok..i get it, mil/fil go to church and boy that is a free pass for every emotional idiocracy to justify?
I am so angry. Their youngest offspring..my dh..doesn't touch me since years and i assume he is scared to just be an adult and make us a baby(probably because he knows quite well that his siblings are mental and is scared that baby could inherit their stupidity..which btw is learned stupidity..nothibg else). But how could i be pissed..there way of idiotic living is normal. Besides the fact that i love my husband so very much i have the distinct feeling, that if i ever wanna get touched in a serious adult way..daily and it's on him now(means he being all man) i have to leave him because he is scared..meh..bs. Since i met those idiots i get more depressed every day.Not good for dh because he is one of the finest human beings under the sun. And i am probably denying to see the truth..dh does not love nor want me as a woman in his life anymore.
All well and fine, he is still a good person. But to be honest..i am lonely and the very thought that this goes on for the next years is nothing i want.
Oh yeah one more thing..dh loves to tell me that i wish his family(exactly dh..you and your useless sibs don't have their own)would die..uhm no, i don't..that thought was nice years ago to prevent further damage but at this point in time they may live forever.
Goddammit dh..how could he be so spineless towards those failures. Dh..the only one who is knowledgeable and has a decent character.
I wish i've never met those idiots and dh would be an orphan.

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In-laws from hell

Posted on Tue, May. 19, 2020 at 05:20 pm

Mil has never, ever liked me. Many years spent trying to gain her approval. A year ago, I gave up.
She plays favorites with grandchildren. Only one of my kids is her favorite. She helped cause this one to have an eating disorder by frequent fat shaming when she ate with us. Other in-laws gave alcohol to my oldest. Undermined my husband and I as parents. We are the only ones who went to church. They undermined that as well. But let us take their kids all the time.
She is super critical of me on Facebook every time I post something she doesn’t agree with.
Recently, I got her trash bags from Walmart. She got mad because she wanted trash bags from dollar general. She was really upset because they cost more. I told her not to worry about the money. That made her madder. Finally I said if it will make you feel better just pay me what the dollar general bags would have cost. She gave me 3$. Still no thankyou. Recently had a family gathering. All they do is insult each other, drink, they used to insult my oldest all the time. Made him feel very inadequate. One cousin was physically abusive to him on more than one occasion. I stopped having birthday parties for my kids because my in-laws wouldn’t come to my nieces parties whom my husband and I have custody of. Only my birth children. We only had parties for our immediate family. My mother in law would get them a gift but no one else. Just so fed up and frustrated. My kids struggle with depression and anxiety and my oldest drinks too much. I feel my in-laws are partly to blame. My family is no better.FRUSTRATED!

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MIL Being Shown Up

Posted on Tue, May. 19, 2020 at 02:14 pm

So, Queen of Passive-Aggression, how does it feel to have a little bit slung your way? I imagine you are ALL TOO AWARE of the PA soft-ball I tossed your way. You don't miss a single insult (whether real or imagined) and I am quite sure you didn't miss this one.

When you continue to lack empathy and do not show any kind of genuine affection, maybe folks should be pointing it out. I know it won't change much in how you operate, but maybe (just maybe) it will. Maybe you'll toss a tiny crumb out there (even if you have to force it and fake it) for the sake of my husband and for our kids.

I'm tired of them never getting any emotional support or caring from you, so if I can manage to provoke you to consider doling it out next time I am happy to do so.

Chew on it please, MIL. It's not too late to give your adult children and your grandchildren the gift of some affection and emotional support.

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