I Hate My Inlaws!

please advise

Posted on Mon, Aug. 07, 2017 at 11:52 am

My husband and I are immigrants. We both have jobs and now plan to buy a house and also to do the second attempt of IVF (the first one didn't work out). The problem is my parents-i n-law. They are waiting the day we will become citizens and bring them here... They don't speak English, the are about 60 years old and there is no way they will live independently. Obviously, they are planning to stay in our house and I cannot accept this fact. They have their 32 years old daughter immigrated about a half year here too who still doesn't work and doesn't have a family. So, I expect that the entire family will stay with us ((((((((( I have very bad relationship with all of them. My mother-in-law saying bad things about me all the time and if there is nothing to say she is coming up the stories. I almost stopped communicated with her a year ago after my husband told her that I will not have kids without IVF and she created a huge scandal blaming me that I knew it before and I used her son... The argument that we found it out now and will still have kids but with medical assistance did not help. My husband's sister during her last visit (my husband invited her to go on two weeks vacation with us where I was doing IVF and rented a hotel room for three) was extremely rude to me and I had to rent another room for her that we could spent the rest of the vacation time not quarrelling. My husband supported me in that case but he cannot say anything to his mother... She is old, she loves him, he has to respect her. Well I agree but I don't understand why he cannot explain her that I'm his family too. I think after they come to us I will have to divorce. We lived all together occasionally (two months in total) and it was disaster. She threw away my food, tried to make all our decisions, compared me with my husband ex-girlfriends... Also she started drinking. I cannot imagine her in my home!!! We earn enough for our life but we definitely cannot afford to rent a house for his parents and pay all their expenses. At the same time I understand that my husband cannot leave them in our country as they are getting old. I don't even know I want kids in such situation but I'm 37 and I'm afraid if I don't try IVF now I will not have kids at all.
p.s. we are immigrants but it's not really a part of our culture to live with parents.

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