I Hate My Inlaws!

Misplaced Priorities

Posted on Thu, Mar. 14, 2019 at 12:11 pm

I took mother-in-law grocery shopping (she has dementia, so we are trying to discourage driving until we are legally able to take away the keys). I was treated to a litany of complaints about prices and how they are SO MUCH CHEAPER at this other place. But here's what gets me: I manage her finances so I know first hand that she has a reckless spending problem. She has dropped literally thousands on collectibles in 2018 alone. She gives to any charity that asks (not out of generosity, of which she has little, but because she thinks it is a bill and yet won't turn it over to me to "pay"), and that has added up to thousands. And let's not forget about the tens of thousands that she's given to scammers. And the magazines. Dear God, the magazines. No one needs 4 issues of the same magazine, each one for 5 years. But she fell for a predatory magazine bundler because "the prices were good". All this reckless spending, but the price of a bottle of orange juice is just *too* much.

Some of this is the dementia. But she had really misplaced financial priorities before that; dementia has just made it worse. It's the ungratefulness that gets me. I am doing her a favor by driving her to go shopping. I know she can afford the OJ (I do her bills, after all) and I tell her that. I really don't want to listen to a long rant about how I'm a terrible person by taking her to the "wrong" grocery store and "making her" pay more for groceries than she would otherwise. And I'm not convinced that's even true; how could she remember prices but not the name of the TV show she likes? Well, she decided she would just go without rather than pay "too much" for orange juice. She's being deprived and it's all my fault. (eyeroll).

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