I Hate My Inlaws!

Hating my Mil makes me regret marrying DH

Posted on Wed, Jul. 10, 2019 at 08:34 am

They are pathetic. In addition to trying to ruin my wedding, talking behind my back, trying to ruin any positive life event, etc., they wait until I have a health problems (osteoarthritis and fibro) and rush to make it about themselves. His dad has cancer and they use that now to get my husband to make sure they're the focus (the narc wife and narc SILs). I'd normally feel bad, but I've already seen that used to emotionally manipulate my husband. It is me and the FIL who don't feel well. The healthy people are in a rush to compete to make it about themselves. I've always told my husband to see his dad, but every time he's there, they rush to talk about me. I thought the focus was supposed to be cancer?

Of course these types (no personality except needy and controlling) always want to force you to embrace controlling in laws out of "tradition". I wish I could say to women everywhere IF THEY ARE NASTY EVEN ONCE, CUT THEM TF OFF! So we could change this tradition within a generation. It's not 1953 where a 21 year old had a 40 year old MIL. I don't want to be 35 being told what to do by a childish 70 year old woman who gets her jollies off through gossip. Women kissing the butt of the MIL is the most sexist tradition we still hold onto in society. You can't be an in-law who is broke, simple, needy AND think you're better than others and be nasty. You can't afford that luxury, sorry. I'd expect that from Queen Elizabeth, not broke small town people. You'd think they had a dynasty for the way they look at me as an outsider and with suspicion. You don't have anything!!!

My husband is really sweet but conveniently "forgets" every piece of terror his family has done over last 2 years. It makes me regret marrying into a family with no money if I'm going to be treated like crap because of my ethnicity anyway. Might as well have gotten something out of it.

My husband in true fashion of a dominating MIL won't grow up. He pretends I haven't already told him, you can go there when you want as long as I don't have to go. I'm an American in a foreign country and my home is a safe space, and I don't want them here. As an expat I should have married a strong, responsible, protective husband from a worldly and successful family who was used to diversity, and who were at least wise older people. Not scared mediocre threatened little children.I got this useless family and I feel robbed. They hid their neediness and nastiness until we got engaged.

They also never encouraged him to be successful and to resent success because that might make the kids leave. But they're sooooo nice tho. I find a special place in hell for people who want to clip their kids wings out of selfishness and not wanting to be alone.

If I had two pieces of advice, never take marriage advice from people who live like roommates. And never live in the same town or country as the in laws, you get submerged by them. Do yourself a favor and start on equal footing where you're equally distant or both far away from them.

They are from a small town in a small country, where we live. We are in a major city. I am an expat and don't speak their language. My family was the one who came in with the money and his family are the ones who are poor, lacking ambition, and just want to be around boring people just like them. I resent them for not making any kind of life for themselves which has made them paranoid, codependent, needy and boring. They are all deeply jealous and spiteful. They don't even attempt to hide it. I just want them fully out of my life for good and the gossip to stop.

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