I Hate My Inlaws!

Horrible in-laws, horrible husband

Posted on Wed, May. 11, 2022 at 06:14 am

In November of 2016, right after a certain person was elected by the Electoral College, I was physically ill with pertussis and I was scared to death about what the president-elect was going to do. DH started berating me for "worrying about nothing" and "failing to listen to the concerns of the people who voted for him." About that time, DH and MIL started talking a lot about guns and DH subscribed to a well-known gun rights organization. We received mail from it on a daily basis, and although I believe people have a right to bear arms, the gun culture in the U.S. really scares me. Right around this time, DH started following extremely right-wing people on the internet and started complaining about "liberals want to shut down free speech." I tried to explain to DH, over and over, that I am a free speech absolutist, but that I had a First Amendment right to associate with people I liked and dissociate from people I didn't. DH seemed to believe that the concept of free speech required me to sit down and talk to these people about their concerns. Then, DH's stepfather started going online and saying abortion was evil and guns were great and he wanted to kill the kids who were protesting the Florida school shooting. (He had always had this "liberals are evil" mentality, but it never involved fantasies of violence against us before). He also said online and said that he was a white nationalist, that he supported flying the Confederate flag since "the gays got to fly their rainbow flag," that he thought most rape allegations were fake, that women should be imprisoned for "false rape reports," that "liberals should be deported to Hawaii and thrown into the volcano," and that the woman who accused the then-President should be "forced to marry a Muslim man as punishment for speaking out without permission." DH's stepfather told me that he was voting for a certain person for Congress. I looked up the candidate and he was a neo-Nazi. Then DH's stepfather started complaining about transgender people and saying he wanted to deport LGBTQ people to Saudi Arabia to teach them a lesson. This was right around the time DD came out, first as lesbian, then as bisexual. DH screamed at me for making "false rape allegations" against his stepfather when all I did was say to him (privately) "I suspect that your stepfather is a rapist" because he regularly belittles women who say they were raped, and his best friend is a guy who (jokingly) claims to have stuck his dick into unwilling women and his stepfather thinks that kind of talk is hilarious. (At no point did I go to the police or testify in court or anything like that). I complained about DH's stepfather to DH for months on end, and he kept letting MIL bring this arsehole over to my house, where he would eat up all my food, say scary and weird things to me, and yell at me, presumably because I'm "one of those evil libruls." Let me tell you, it was fucking scary. Finally, things came to a head right before Christmas 2019. I told MIL, in no uncertain terms, that I no longer wanted to see her husband at my house, or generally. She then told all of his kids what I said and they started engaging in passive-aggressive internet flame wars. They are all anti-LGBTQ, pro-Christian theocracy, extremely gun-oriented, and anti-abortion. The "no contact" with MIL's husband/DH’s stepfather lasted about nine months, during which time she kept lobbying me to let her start bringing him over again. Then, during late 2020, whilst COVID was still raging, she started bringing him over again without my permission. In December 2021, I finally told MIL's whole adopted "family" - none of whom are related to DH -- but not her -- that I wanted nothing to do with any of them, that the terms of my marital contract predated their involvement in any of our lives. MIL retaliated against me by saying my mother was evil and I was evil just like her. This, mind you, was when my mother was terminally ill. Right after my mother died, and she called me to say that my mother "is better off," I got pissed off and wrote something snarky to one of her adopted grown-ass "daughters," who's a drunk and a fool. I know it was wrong, but it felt so good at the time. MIL then told all of our mutual friends to block and unfriend me because I was having a mental health crisis and I might send them a nasty note (ooh, scary!) even though most of them have nothing to do with her stupid trailer trash family. DH of course, will listen to nothing negative about MIL and everything she does is excusable, including foisting her execrable husband upon me and DD.

About a year and a half prior to the election, DH browbeat me into agreeing to move to a small town where, unbeknownst to me, MIL and DH's stepfather were also looking for a house. MIL actually went through my list of houses and crossed off the ones that were "too far away from the houses she was looking at." We put a bid on a house but the house failed our inspection and the seller would not accept a counteroffer. MIL was pissed - she wanted us to accept the house "as is." She said that "we spent a lot of time looking for a house for you" (it was only a single weekend.) She said she wanted to spend more time with DD and that she wanted her husband to babysit DD whilst I was at work in some unspecified job. At that time, I had no knowledge of how crazy DH's stepfather was. See where this is going? I'm pretty sure DD and I dodged a massive bullet.

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