Let's start with FIL. I won't list the many ways in which FIL has proven that he is a coward, but I will say that he is clearly afraid. Wow. Big, bad patriarch is maybe not so big? Yo FIL, you act like a pouty child. Not admitting to your wrongdoings doesn't erase them, you know.

Now for MIL: My husband told me he has a memory of when he was very little. You had a man in your bedroom that wasn't FIL. Was this retaliation for the dabblings of your drunken husband? Regardless of the reason, it makes your holier-than-thou judgements of everyone around you not hold quite as much water.

SIL: I think I know why there were no pics of you at that event in your city. Have you perhaps put on some weight? My suspicion is "yes", and I have a further suspicion as to why (but maybe I'm wrong about that). Either way, your face is typically very broad no matter what you weigh, so why worry about it?

BIL: We know you're mooching off of your girlfriend. We also know something you don't know about her faithfulness. You may think she's insecure and wouldn't do that. Your ego has you blinded to the truth, you sad pathetic little man-child.

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